I let go of my hurt feelings from feeling unsupported by my family today. What a relief. I felt like God was talking to me in so many ways today, reassuring me that He was there with me & to let it go. Once I did it, I was able to get up & do things without having this stuck in the back of my head. I was so productive, both physically & spiritually.
I feel so full of love lately... I sometimes wish I had someone to share it with. I keep my focus on Christ & He fills me with love... I share that love with my kids & I try to show it everywhere I go & with everyone I meet... I feel like I used to feel when I first met my husband even though we never talk or see each other now. Am I aweful for not thinking about him always? I sometimes feel bad for thinking about who I might meet in the future if my husband chooses to end our marriage... I am NOT out looking & have hope that my husband will still come home...& I wonder if those thoughts are the kind of lustful thoughts I need to knock out of my head. I don't want my marriage to end because when I said 'in better or worse" I meant it. I believe that marriages are supposed to last a life time. But I also understnad that every person has thier own free will & I can't keep my husband here. But part of me is ready to share my love with someone again... I don't know what to make of this. I finally know & understand what unconditional love is & how to truly love & I want to pass it on... However, I wait patiently for God to show me my path. I am dedicated to this marriage first & foremost. I do not intend on filing for divorce & if that is what my husband wants then he will have to take the appropriate measures. My sister asked me the other day how long I plan on letting him "drag me along"... & I told her that I will be here for him for as long as I am blessed to be his wife. I know the reality of what he might be doing, but I choose to love him regardless. He is my husband, I will love him always.
I thank God daily for bringing him into my life. I thank Him for the circumstances leading my husband to tell me he loves me first. I thank God that my husband faught for me so many times & believed in us even when I was uncertain. I am so blessed to be here... I thank God always!
That is normal... As you grow with Christ and learn how to Love as He intended you desire that.
As for your husband. You are doing the right thing. And no you are not wrong for not thinking of him always. In fact, you should be thinking of Christ first.....
You and I have many parallels in our lives right now. I've had someone ask me how long I intend to let her "string me along"? I gave the same answer you did, as long as she is my wife and it's going to be up to her to end our marriage. I'm in it to win it, till death do us part.
I feel the same way you do as well. I'm not out looking either, but I do sometimes wonder what is to become of me and what it would be like to be able to share what I've learned with someone who has also been through this. I doubt I would ever find someone my own age who hasn't been married ;)
Anyway, the longer she strings me along, the more I'm inclined to think she really doesn't want to end our marriage. Otherwise I think she would.
Hang in there kid, you've got many praying for you every single day!
Chad... All the people that are watching you just will not be able to understand your ability to forgive. To be there. However, in their own private thoughts, they are looking at what Christ is doing for you.... That is called testimony. Praise God!
It is like i wrote your post. I catch myself wondering about the future and who I will meet and marry. My husband has not filed for divorce either and I WILL NOT file. No matter what. I often wonder why he hasn't already cuz he continues to ignore me. I don't know how long he intends to ignore me, but I am still waiting. I also feel like I want to share the love I feel. It saddens me that I can't share it with my husband.
Dont be sad. Be excited... We want things now, but when we submit to Gods plan He makes sure we are molded to where He wants us...
Be excited to know Christ is working in all this.