This dare hasn't gone well for me. Strong words, 'end it now, throw it all out'; I really love to play games online and ended up spending some time with my latest favorite instead of anything else I could have done. It was a hard day. My hunny didn't sleep well to begin with. I had the day off unexpectedly (I usually work saturdays) and told him the night before about having the day off and it would be nice to go do something together. When I got up, he went out for coffee, did not ask me to go along. Fine, I never do anyway, and I don't drink coffee. His coffee trips are usually a couple hours because he socializes with his friends there. When he came back I suggested we go for a foliage ride, but he didn't want to, it was too cold. We used to love to ride in the fall together through the mountains and look at the foliage. So I just smiled and said fine, what would you like to do? He didn't come up with anything, but decided to take a nap. So while he was sleeping I played games. Bad girl, I know.When he got up I said its warming up outside, wanna go do something? Instead, he wanted to got out to meet up with some other friends. So I hugged him before he left. I was pretty disappointed. He asked me what was wrong so I told him I thought we could spend some time together instead he's running around without me. He sat down hard and looked like I had punched him and got really quiet. I asked if he was ok, he said no but nothing else. So then I said I could use the time to clean instead and that I realized my day off wasn't expected and I didn't mean to change his plans, then told him I was off to take a shower and left the room. When he got back he took another nap. So I used that time to make a nice dinner, which we ate in silence. Then he went to lay down after that. He hasn't really talked to me today either, although we did go shopping together.
What can I throw out, I'll have to get rid of the games from the computer for sure. I don't know what other bad habits I have. I am trying to be more attentive than before, paying more attention, and not letting it stop me when I don't get a response. Because when it comes down to it, he was my choice, I promised to show honor and love and respect no matter what, not just when its good or only when he is being nice to me. I am also trying to not hold my tongue when something bothers me, instead trying to find a non hostile way of saying what is on my mind. All day today his silence hasn't really bothered me though, like I know this is something I can't fix, I leave it up to God, and I feel ok.
Just to add to above. It has been a strange weekend. He avoided talking with me about most everything. Whenever I tried to engage him in any kind of discussion, he didn't respond or got snappy. Funny thing happened though. He made a huge mess in the kitchen while making dinner that I started to clean up. He suggested that my son do it, and I said would that be fair? He grumbled and joined me in the cleaning, something he has managed to stay away from for a long time. Now time to look into day twenty five and see what today holds.
You are doing great. Keep going on the journey. Things will be comfort in your heart...
Remember to take time for prayer and reading your Bible. That will help you trust Christ in all of this.