I don't believe I lust after anything really but if I'm not aware I pray God opens my eyes to help me fix it. What I do know is I've never really learned how to love fully or what love really was so I guess maybe lust was more of what I was giving when it came to relationships so it cost me single rather than happily in a relationship. I pray that God continue to help me seek after Him first then seek my bf and daily to show my unconditional love as its the little things that add up.

Today at church we were asked if anyone needed prayer or wanted to step in for some one we were praying for to come up to the alter.  I sat there wondering if I should or should not as I've been praying for a long time on a break through for our relationship and now finding out my ex has gotten back with his ex. I almost didn't go but God was telling me if I really wanted His help then don't be afraid to go to the alter and seek it. So I was obedient and went. I prayed for my ex and myself. Last night I broke down crying as I couldn't believe my ex did me the way he did after I was nice to him as it came out of nowhere considering we had a good visit. I prayed asking God for his help and since then yes I'm still hurt but I'm handling this harsh rejection very well with God's strength. I feel strongly that God is still working on my situation although my situation looks helpless I know that God can make any situation possible I just have to believe. I can't lean on my own understanding but trust God in all His ways and He will direct my path. I can't give up now I know as I'm half way thru the dare and from what I have read and I've seen the movie it gets harder before it gets easier as God has to let me go through situations to learn how to really lean on Him and learn how to love.