So today I removed some things from my life that prevent me from focusing on my relationship with God and my marriage to Shelly. I removed some things from my computer at work, and stopped associating with a couple negative people there as well. In addition, a few days ago I burned a shirt with his company's logo on it as it cause me to think negatively and try to take control back. In addition, I erased any and all text messages from this guy and deleted his number from my phone.
I did pretty good with not being in control today. I texted my wife this morning and told her I loved her and our children and hoped they had a good day. Both children texted me today and it was nice to get those from them as I haven't seen them for a couple days. Later in the day, my wife said that the kids wanted to be with me this weekend and asked if that was okay. I said it was and suggested that we spend it together as a family. She didn't respond and I didn't push. She knows that that is what they want and desire as well as me, but doesn't seem to feel that that is the healthiest for all of us. I disagree, but haven't make that comment for a while to her. I continued to pray that God will keep working on her heart and open her eyes to the truth ot our situation. I also studied the 3rd chapter of Psamls today. Overall, it was a good day and I avoided trying to control anything with her. I trust in the Lord.
You did not avoid trying to control... Believe it or not the simple request of spending the weekend as a family was a control tactic. You may disagree, but you are still justifying things in your own mind.
Leave her to Christ. And when it comes to her, only the dares. No more no less....
Thanks Sean, I wasn't seeing it like that...
This has made me see that I have been taking control too.
I have prayed that I stop with immediate effect.
Don't worry about the effect. Worry about the insight and guidance Christ has blessed you with. By doing so you are leaving your spouse to Him to deal with and the effect is much more plentiful....
My husband and I are still married. He works away for 2 weeks at a time and then is home for a week. Most days I send him an I love you text each morning. I started this before the starting on the dares and he likes them. Should I keep sending them? He has never sent me a reply to any of them. I try to leave calling him myself as I never know when he's actually working or what he's doing eg socialising. There have been times when I have called and it's like I'm annoying him.
What would you suggest?
Pray upon it... The texts well I think do them, but instead of being the same thing mix them up, be unique.
And for the calls. Well maybe back off, but again pray on it. Maybe only once a day to complete a dare
Again, seek Christ in this decision
Sometimes I don't hear from him for 2-3 days straight. Even times when he's on a rostered day off or he's having a day off sick he still doesnt call us. I've spoken to h about it even an old friend of his has tried talking to him. It doesn't make any difference though. We have 6 children and he doesn't want to talk to them.
The texts I send are from a phone app. It has all these different ways to say I love you. I just pick one each morning to send.
Again, the focus right now is your journey with Christ. Leave Him to Christ.