Day 63—Love Always Protects
anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's
stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.”
Going back through the areas this chapter talks
about that I know I need to continue to put my armor on for in my marriage—harmful
influences, unhealthy relationships, shame, and parasites—I realized I needed
to stop watching some television shows that I have been watching lately. I felt
God laying it on my heart pretty clearly as I was literally watching one today—you
know the ones—they have plotlines of love/lust/affairs. I went to my Netflix
account and started deleting what I needed to.
Praise God, this list of things needing to
address is not as lengthy as it was in round one. I know this is an area that
is constantly a work in progress as we go through life and marriage, so as
various things come up in these areas they can easily be addressed now that I
am in tuned to the vitality of protecting the love of your marriage.
This morning I went on a run that I have not
done in awhile, but now that we were actually getting some sunshine I wanted to
take full advantage. As I was running, my mind, as it does a lot, thought about
my husband. I thought about how much I wanted to be with him—enjoying this nice
weather—taking our dog to the park, enjoying frappuccinos from Starbucks, and
just relishing each other’s presence. Unfortunately, I did not have any
contact with him again. I was torn about that today because that energy
I had this morning to run rapidly turned into a day filled with being sick on
the couch—another 100 degree temp and massive body aches. It is odd because I
never get sick like this let alone twice in a week and a half. However, it did
allow me quite a bit of quiet time to reflect, read, and pray. For that, I am thankful.
And praise him always for the little things as well...
Had to reply here because i can't add a new post Sorry
Today was day 23, this journey has been more difficult than anything I have ever done. Often times I have wanted to give up, but god keeps telling me to keep going. It seems as though since I began this dare he has distanced himself more then ever, and it confuses me. We can be in the sme room and he doesn’t ever say hello.
I have wanted to come right out and lay it on the line with him, what is his plan, what is he thinking. I have wanted to tell him if its over then he needs to get his things out, I have wanted to tell him that I need to protect my kids and myself so I am going to see a lawyer. But I was so afraid of him telling me that it ws over , that he won’t be coming home.
This morning I decided I was going to do it, and I trust god enough that no matter what the outcome, he will see me through it. I wrote im a letter, explaining to him that I want to work on our marriage but he has shown no signs that he wants to do that so I am seeking counsel. I am not giving up on him but I need to protect me and the kids. I did not shed a tear while writing it, and when he came to drop the kids off I handed it to him.
The rest I am leaving in gods hands. I will continue with the dare, because I believe there is a reason god led me to it but I have given up on the idea that him and I will reconcile.
I do not see you on here often. I do not know how much you have read of others posts and journals. Please take some time read mine, or better yet message me on here.
It seems you are taking back control from Christ in this journey. ANd that is not what this is about.
Sean, i have tried to find our journals on here and can't. how do i find them?
here is the link to my journals.... Start from the earliest. lovedarestories.com/.../default.aspx
How do i message you?
Usually you click on my name and it should give the opportunity to, but I just clicked on your name it takes me to my profile...