Due to not having a computer at my new place I can only update every so often. So here it is now day 23. I'll update day 20-22 in this post.
It was a day filled with prayer and tears. Tears for the love that Jesus has shown me but I have thrown away all my life until now. I prayed the prayer for my dare, and also prayed for my family that they are saved. Saved with God and saved as much as possible from the hurt that has been going on in our family.
I have been reading alot more of the bible. Divorce care, the Love Dare and my wife have prompted me to do so. My wife told me about the You Version app, so I downloaded it and started on a few reading plans. I added reading proverbs a day as well. I had the kids this day and took them ice skating and car shopping ( i needed a cheaper vehicle for fuel efficiency). The Lord blessed me with a vehicle that meets my needs and is newer than the truck I had. I am disappointed at having to let go of my truck, but the car has other benefits (leg room for the kids and more than twice the gas mileage). Only downside to it is no AC. Well at least in the frozen tundra of MN we only need AC 2-3 months out of the year.
I wrestled and prayed with this dare the whole day. I could not find the inspiration for the words to come out and not put pressure on my wife to respond in kind. I had some friends telling me what to say and what they were saying to tell my wife did not speak to me very well. Then my mother called. She and my wife have not gotten along for a long time, but she knows about the dare and is supportive of me. She called me just a few minutes before my wife was to pick up the kids. I asked her about what to say, and the words that were coming out of my phone were unbelievable! So I prayed a short prayer on it, took a leap of faith and tried it. I was able to complete this dare with no issues, no reprocussions. No "I think we need to distance ourselves further from each other". Just a simple apology for giving me a weird look. I definetly thanked the Lord for the peace he gave me in this days dare.
After Emily left, I watched the movie courageous. Every father should watch this! Todays dare wasnt too difficult to complete once I focused on what my addictions are beyond the pornography. Since I dont have a computer the porn was really easy to get rid of. I prayed on God to reveal my other addictions so that I can focus on removing them with his help. He revealed to me that I need to stop focusing on money, and focus on what he provides, which he does. I noticed blessings in the past that I did not notice before, like being able to spend only $60 and come out with a ton of food at the grocery store. Even though right now I am dirt poor (I give Emily about 60% of my net pay for her and the kids and am paying all our debt), I felt the need to start tithing. I had about $300 for my food and living needs until my next check but I felt a strong need to give a large sum at church. So I did it, never felt better. I have always been one to give if I had cash on me. Now God has called me to give a portion of my income to the church, I am at his will.
Hope to update soon,
Remember this... You can never out give Christ!