Today went ok to start, I did what the dare said to do, she made a comment "what trying to make me feel guilty?" I added no, just statimng the truth. The bad thing I feel I did was that she as a Attorney and started the paper work process for divorce, I explained that I do not want that reminded her of our vowes, the promise we made to each other and God, and I feel we owe it to our kids to work on it. I know that is not leaving it in Gods hands and that i missed up. She later approached me saying with the things I have done that I am focusing to much on us, That her opinion with God and marriage is not the same, then she asked if I would let her go, as in divorce. I really did not know how to answer, I told her I am going to pray and hope that it would not come to that but that i can not control you. I felt humble by the but scared, and not sure if I responded right.
The real question is, do you know why that was not leaving it up to God?
Satan will use her as long as she lets him. And right now it is you and your testimony that has to be the thing to change that. Not manipulation (owe it to the kids) or control.
Focus on the Lord and know without a doubt, that no matter what happens the only one that will be there with you is Christ. Be so certain knowing that your happiness will be more than what you can possibly think, that you glow in His love.
It is then, when you are filled with Christ that those questions are answered through you instead of by you.
Thats just it, i have been struggling on letting her go completely. One minute I focus on God the next on her, wondering why we are going through this difficult time. I know I need to give God complete control and focus only on him, and to get my strength through him not my wife. I guess my question is besides doing the dares do I continue to show love by getting her coffee, making dinner, telling her she looks nice, ect., or not.
Am I doing this the way it should be done?
Yes. Whatever helps her. That is showing love.
Remember this is a journey... It is not going to be fixed over night. But let me point out one thing.
Look at your concern you are having with her. Now think of this. Christ has the same concern with you. He continues to bless you and love you and you forsake Him for her. You continue to serve her by coffee, dinner, etc... But when it comes to Christ, where is the margin for Him?
Now, I am not telling you to forsake your wife. You must love and honor her to be right with Christ. Serving her is a part of this journey. But you need to focus some on leading your heart to Christ.
It is not easy. I have been there. But if you want to finally know what happiness is, to have a marriage better than the day you were married (every day), the solution is right in front of you.... Christ.