So I thought that performing this dare was going to be fairly easy for me. I prayed to god that when I put it out there that she wouldn't take it the wrong way or upset her. I prayed that she would receive it with an open mind and heart. Now I don't know how she took it. But I had to run a few errands and she pulled out in front of me. So I know she had to see me in her rear view. She never committed to my words. I came home this evening and found that she had been here and took more belongings. Just her grandmothers China and some luggage. I don't know for sure if it was her or her kids. It doesn't matter I guess. It sometimes feels as though things are going backwards. I did ask her if we could possibly talk. Again no response. The impatient side of me wants her now but I know god has his owne plans. I guess I don't understand why she won't even talk or acknowledged. It's very tough to stay strong and not lead with my emotions.
It will get worse before it gets better. And it is hard not to seek her response to doing the dares. But do not worry about her response at all. you are doing the dares to grow in Christ. Yes, you want the marriage to work, but leave it in God's most capable hands. let Him work on her as you give her space by doing just a dare a day, no more, such as asking her to talk. She is not ready for that and talking will just make her dig her heals in all the more.
When it gets tough, Be still, and know He is God. He will bring you peace when you put Him way above your wife, but not loving her less.
So last night I had a dream about her and she came to me and said that she loved me and missed me. Sometimes I wonder if it's god refilling hope or if it's the satin playing mind games with me. I was up most of the night praying to god to make my marriage work and to bring her back and to elevate the pain in my stomach. Eventually it went a way and I feel back asleep. Will be continuing on with the next dare today and also will be at church with my peers. I'm hoping for a good day.
For now, it may be best when praying for her or the marriage to simply pray for God's will to be done in her life. This covers everything and helps keep our prayers from being selfish. Because we often pray for our spouses in the hopes they change so that we do not have to hurt. That often is our first real intention in our prayer.
when you put God above her, and trust in all His promises things become bearable. He says in the bible, 365 times, be not afraid. That;s a pretty strong message. Keep going to prayer when you hurt, like you did last night.