Today is my husbands' birthday. I didn't realise I was completing this dare when I wrote him a letter last night.
To go back, I did day 18 and day 21 in conjunction yesterday as I wasn't able to do day 18 over the weekend.
One of the questions I asked after dinner was what have I done previously that made you feel loved and he responded,"i've never felt loved by you"
Wow this hurt, because I always assumed I was a generally good wife, and when he fell asleep I wrote him a letter to add to his birthday card.
I told him I love him completely, I do not need anything in return for loving but I do love him.
I also wrote that I prayed for peace and salvation for both of us.
That's the only "gift" I can give completely - my prayers.
I am sad that I can't share his birthday with him but I am hopeful as God is entering my heart and I can honestly say I am trying to live the life He wants me to live.
My husband is a beautiful man and so many times I have forgotten how beautiful he is inside and out. I prayed for forgiveness for how badly I have treated him in the past.
I serve a merciful, forgiving God and I know He will give me peace in my heart and in my life that I need.
Remember the selfish dare? This is where he is at right now. Complete selfishness. Leave it to Christ.
Writing my thoughts here with like minded people is really helping me cope... I pray daily but still feel a sense of loss... Yes I am uplifted by the Almighty but looking at him makes me feel lonely, does that make any sort of sense?
I know how you feel. Continue the good fight muneerah according to Eph 3:20 - "Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--" AMP. I thought is was quite ironic that the word "dare" was in the verse even though it was the amplified version. I hope that this comforts you as it has comforted me. God Bless.
It does make sense. Because you are in the company of Christ mined people.
We are all going through the same thing in one way or another. See my journal post about Day 21 and my wife's birthday, which I was not there to physically share with her, muneerah. Today is my Day 22. It's hard, but you are right. Peace comes ONLY from Him. God bless.
muneerah, still around?
I haven't been online for a while due to the holiday season.
The past few weeks has thrown be from extreme bliss to terrible sadness. I am now on Day 37 and Praise be to God am doing well.
Christmas was the worst for me as I didn't get to spend it with my hubby but i was surrounded by lovely, supportive family.
On Christmas Day i was really able to count my blessings... And I am eternally grateful.
My husband and I have been getting along well, I am still very tentative but WOW this journey has brought me so far.
Sean your one journal speaks about being able to move on without your wife and how you were ready to give someone this immense love, well I am there...
whether it works with my husband or not, I have learnt how beautiful my love is and how whoever I love deserves the best of me...
I have posted in Day 37...
I look forward to catching up with everyone :)
Now here is the great part about being in that position. You will find that your thought of what the desires of your heart were are not what they truly are.
This is very true :) Starting with Day 1 again today, and I look forward to it so much... I know it may be tough again but it may be even more enlightening
Seek His will... Jeremiah 29:13