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Day 22
Well… my birthday was Friday and she did the unexpected. She wished me a happy birthday and used my full first name ( an inside thing that meant a lot to me always) She texts me “Happy Birthday Jonathan J” I responded with a simple “Thank You!” She said “have a good day old manJ” … Ok, I will young lady ;-)…. I told her that this made my day like she wouldn’t believe. She simply said J Of Course!.... then I went to go and pick up my kids and she set them up with a pack of cupcakes, a card, and three picture frames from her so I can have pics of the kids in my apartment. I bawled like a baby after I left… then last night I find out that she was back on facebook but using her maiden name… oy vey! We are not even divorced yet!.... I wish I knew what was going through her head…..
Ok, day 22. I need to let go and let God. I think she is not going to like it and it is going to make her mad. But I am going to pull her away from the kids just long enough to tell her how I love her and choose to love her. Even if she doesn’t love me back. I need to be ready for her to be angry and not let her spark my temper. I am going to put on the armor of God before I go. We will see. God! My Messiah! May this marriage be restored for the glory of Your Kingdom!
Well… I told her and she looked at me and asked “why do you feel like you need to tell me that?” I told her that I just do… then she asked “ does it make you feel better?” to that I said we will see. I felt good and strengthened after telling her I loved her. Guess that’s what happens when you walk in His love. I learned that regardless of how you feel, when you show love anyway you are given the feeling of love.
When you do not manipulate Gods plan for your own desire the blessing of comfort is always the outcome.