What do you do when love is rejected? How do I handle it? Before when my love was rejected, I took it very personal and I would pull into myself and not be in a good mood. That is the way I was before getting married....really my whole life. I realize that sometimes people are not really rejecting me, it just comes off that way. While married, I would get mad at my husband if he "rejected" my love and would not love me how I wanted him to. I have come to realize that people are complex and that when they react to you or reject you sometimes they do it intentionally and sometimes not. If done intentionally, then you realize that they have given in to temptation and are "lashing out" because they are hurt. I have given into temptation and gotten angry. We all do. We all fall short of the glory of God. God is patient with us and we need to be patient with our spouses.
I have come across Luke 6:27-28-love your enemies and those you mistreat you. And No I never thought I would consider my husband an "enemy". He is definitely not fulling his husbandly duties to me right now and he is mistreating me in a way-silence, ignoring me. Well, I need to pray for him and ask God to bless him. I also really like the Luke 6:32-33. About loving those who love you that even the sinners do that. It reminds me of the passage that says even the devil acknowledges Jesus as God. I think it is easier to love a "stranger" or co-worker than your spouse because you love them from afar. You don't have to go home with them and deal with them there. That is how I feel right now with my husband. That he loves those around him more than me because it is easier.
I just remind myself that we are nothing, we have nothing unless God gives it to us. Thus we do not have love unless He gives it to us. Realizing this has helped me not feel so guilty about what has happened. I realize not everything was my fault and I am at peace with whatever my husband hurls at me. I know he is hurting. I know he doesn't want a relationship full of hurt in the future. It pains me to know he thinks that way. I ask God to heal his heart.
On a side note. My truck would not start again. In December it wouldn't start. I had my husband come over and jump it. He didn't seem very happy that day at all and we talked later and he nailed me to the cross. Well, a couple days later, the truck wouldn't start again. My grandpa got it checked out and got a new starter in it. Well today I called my grandpa again. I texted my husband to see if I could borrow his vehicle, but then told him never mind, that my grandpa would take care of it. My husband said to let him know what so wrong. I am afraid to because it ended up being that a cargo light was left on. Not sure how the button got pushed, but it did. I feel so stupid. But...I am going to call him tonight and ask if we can meet in person to talk about it. We'll see.
Part of me wants to ask him if he really cares and why. Why even bother. He left me. He is spending a lot of money. BUT. I need to pray for him and be patient.
So the vehicle mishape was a blessing in disguse. I called my husband and left him a message just a bit ago. Asked if we could talk about the truck tomorrow. He actually called back tonight. I was hesitant to tell him what happened. But I did. I told him I didn't like keeping things from him and told him I had a new starter put in. He said that was good to know. I also told him I wasn't sure if I could call him or not. Cuz when he had to jump the truck in December he seemed very angry. He was frustrated cuz he twisted his ankle. Him has been really busy at work and helping out at another place....his choice. I guess that is why he thinks he doesn't need to get back to me. Oh well. It is in God's hands. I asked when we could meet up and he said he will let me know. I asked if he had been going to this one church he had mentioned. No, too far away right now. So I don't think he is attending church. I told him I would like to go together, but that was up to him. I then told him that I love you and I am going to choose to love you even if you don't choose to love me. Kinda left it at that. Told him to let me know when we can meet next week.
Trusting Christ will always provide blessings... That is why it is so important to give up the control of everything.