So I started reading the first chapter in Proverbs and studying it. I have also prayed quite a bit today. I was having a pretty good day and even bought my son a birthday gift today in preparation for his b-day next monday. I also met with a brother in Christ at lunch time who's been helping me strengthen my walk with God. Shelly is coming home only because I have to go away for work early in the morning. She then texted me and said I better be off next week because she won't be here. I replied by asking her why she just can't spend time with her family and she said she does not want to be a family w/me anymore because she doesn't love me for the bad things I've done in my past and she's no longer happy here. I replied by saying she could be happy if she wanted to. She said that my changes recently make her unconfortable because it is out of my normal character, and she seems taken aback at my new faith. She said I have done too much unforgiveable damage and it can't be repaired. She said it's too late for her heart. I told her that I love her unconditionally and that even though I have sinned, I have asked God to forgive me and he has. I told her that I am comforted by his grace and power, and am not giving up my faith in God or my love for her. The Other Guy got involved and attacked me by bringing up my past and saying that no one can be saved and change in 2 weeks, and he said my children don't respect me for telling them that what is going on between them is a sin. He also said he was going to contact her family and tell them the truth. I told him that they already knew the truth about him and that they know it's based on lust and sin. I could tell that he is putting thoughts in her head that I will be unfaithful and mean to her as they texted me virtually the same messages a couple times. I told him that I didn't owe him anything, and said that I'm living right and that he would some day drown in the lies and sin he is involved in. I did stop texting him, and texted her a few times asking her to look at things for herself and stop letting him cloud her mind with doubt and smokescreens. I also asked her to give us some time to work on things like we never have before, and she said NO. I plan on continuing the Dares, even past 40 days.
I know I shouldn't have gotten in this confrontation with them, and should've just stepped back. I am feeling very tired and weak after all of this, and feel very vulnerable spiritually right now. I am currently praying for forgiveness for this, and again trying to give the entire situation over to God. I was able to speak to her father who was a lay minister before retiring, and he prayed over the phone with me and said that God will have the final say. My parents also prayed over me at their house that the lord will work on everyone involved and have his will done. They also prayed for his protecting hands to cover all of us from harm and emotions meant to try and weaken us. These prayers have helped a bit, and some of my own have as well, but my strength and confidence isn't where it has been the last few days. Any help or guidance would be very much appreciated...
Things were calm when Shelly came home. We didn't talk about earlier today. She was a little short with me when I asked about getting people together for ous son's birthday next Sunday. I pray for patience and strength at this time. I also pray that God will have his hand of protection on her. I'm trying to give up what little control I have to God.
Those are the moments you must leave to Christ. If you read your post, you should see your desperation where you take over to convince her. You can't. You are not god so you cannot control the situation. Allow Christ to take over and you humble yourself to walk away form it. You just keep justifying everything she is doing in her mind.
Leave the sin talk and stuff out of it. Your faith is to new and it will just seem like a con to her and you give him the ammo to help her. This is where you buckle down and focus 100% on Christ and your journey.
Thanks for the eye opener Sean. I needed that. That's pretty much what I learned last night as I prayed about the entire thing. I am feeling a bit stronger today, and trust in God.
Jason--I am in a very similar situation where my wife has decided not to forgive me for lies and deceipt. She is wounded because the man she married flirted with infidelity and lied to her. No matter what I do now I am not trusted and my kids are suffering because of everything. All I can say is first, you're not alone and we are human and to make it worse, we are men. That is why Christ came-- to forgive us for our human acts of sin. Finally, I am surrendering this to God. If you listen closely He will direct you. He directed me to this website and to your post. His words may come in a roar of thunder by hitting you over the head with a board or, most likely, will come in a whisper or an idea. Be patient with her. If her relationship with this other dude is new, it may very well fizzle out when she figures out you really love her. Good luck. I will be praying for you.
It is through testimony that will change things. Christ will guide you, the problem is are we willing to give up that control to Him....
Danny, thanks for your words. It's comforting to know that others are experiencing this sort of thing, not good but comforting. I will pray for you as well.
This is an example that Christ needs your testimony, your story for others to see you get through it.