I felt different this day… from the moment I woke up, I knew that it would be a day full of Christ’s love. He put me in an environment where my healing and my growth could really begin.
I was still at my husband’s aunt’s house and spent some time outside in the garden before anyone else got up. I was able to do my morning devotions with no sound except the birds. I spent time thinking through my devotion and then reading a marriage book that I’ve been working through. I felt whole. The empty, erratic heart feeling was gone, and I didn’t feel guilty that it wasn’t there. My mother in law came out a while later, and we talked about the devotional that I’m working through. She grew up Catholic, but has stepped away from her faith.
I found quiet time for prayer throughout the day, but found myself in praise more than anything else. I prayed for my husband and for Christ to work with him while my daughter and I were away. I praised Him for allowing the opportunity for me to be in such a healing environment for a couple of days. I praised Him for my improving relationship with my mother in law, and for allowing her to really open up about how she felt. She is so much like my husband, and he and I speak love differently.
She was able to tell me that she hasn’t known how to approach me or how much I even wanted to be around the family. I’m a pretty quiet person, and show my love without asking for recognition. By not asking for recognition, sometimes no one even knows that things that I do for the family or say about them to other people. I told her about the times that I brought food or water over to her house while she was going through Chemo. I told her that I used to come over and clean her bathrooms and floors when I let her dogs out while she was in the hospital. We both just didn’t know. I apologized that I had not been open with her until now, and she told me that she really liked this person that I’d become. She also opened up a lot about her divorce from my father in law. We talked about how much it affected my husband, and what things my father in law could have done differently to reach her towards the end of their relationship. She said a lot of the same things to my FIL as my husband has said to me.
Overall, a wonderful, healing day filled with open conversation. I left my phone in the house, and never checked it until we were getting ready to leave. I left my husband to Christ and didn’t worry about whether or not he was contacting me.
Praise God. Doors have been opened. And maybe with this time with his family it will open more doors with your husband.