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Day 60 - Love still is Jesus Christ

Day 60 - Love still is Jesus Christ

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    Day 60—Love still is Jesus Christ

     

    “Dare to take God at His Word.  Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation.  Dare to pray, "Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner.  But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection.  Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace."

     

    I prayed quite a bit throughout the day—I dared to take God at His Word as I do every day and I continue to dare to trust Him for my husband’s salvation. I also prayed for continued strength, guidance, and wisdom. I did not sleep well last night—still shocked and psyched about what unfolded yesterday. It all just played over and over in my head.

     

    I went to work ecstatic—it couldn’t go fast enough for we had talked before he left last night about him coming over for dinner tonight, going over his lease paperwork, and him needing to print some things for a doctor’s appointment. I wanted to text and call him every chance my mind reverted to him, but knew I had to still stand firm on what God commanded of me the day he moved out—do not contact him unless told to do so. Don’t think I didn’t ask Him throughout the day…every time though the answer was no! Alright, I’ll accept, Lord, at least I get to see him tonight…

     

    …or so I thought. I get home and changed, diddle daddled around a bit waiting for him to call/text/walk through the door/SOMETHING, but nothing. Half hour went by and I decided to start reading to get my mind off of it—God was still telling me no to contacting him. Another half hour goes by and I get a text from him—“How are you?” I immediately grabbed the phone to reply, but again God telling me to stop. Really? Okay, so back to reading…five minutes go by and he calls. “Now, Jenn, you can talk to him.” All smiles, I answer the phone. Just casual conversation—no mention of him coming over. He even proceeded to tell me what he ate for dinner already. I did not feel compelled to bring up anything about what we had planned the night before. The blessing I took out of our short conversation—his Mom and brother have talked about looking for a place to rent together since both currently live with friends and want to move into their own place (both are currently divorced singles), so my husband’s thought was they could just take over his lease. GENIUS! I told him that is a great idea and all you can do is just ask them. At least I knew he was still thinking about moving back in as we ended the conversation.

     

    I cannot even begin to try and understand God’s work behind all of this today. It was very hard to be on such a high from last night and not get to see my husband and barely talk to him when I had in my mind all day that that was the plan—my plan obviously, not God’s. My heart is still filled with gratitude for the intense change that is taking place on my continued journey with Christ—and now my husband— who is a lot closer to getting in the same car as me on this road than he ever has before.

     

    When I hung up the phone, the song—My Savior, My God—started playing. Christ knows my love for music as my ears tuned right into the song opener—

     

    “I am not skilled to understand
    What God has willed, what God has planned
    I only know at His right hand
    Stands One who is my Savior

     

    I take him at his word and deed

    Christ died to save me this I read

    And in my heart I find a need

    For Him to be My Savior…”

     

    Full song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt0WluTpFTg  

     

    ***This is where I ended my entry and as I was seriously posting it to the website, at that very moment, I got a text***

     

    Husband: “Is the [tile guy] there?”

    Me: “No”

    Husband: “Is he coming tonight?”

    Me: “He said he was”

    Husband: “What time does he usually get there?”

    Me: 630 [it is now 800]

    Husband: “How late are you going to be up?”

    Me: “Couple more hours”

    Husband: “Can I come over?”

    Me: Prayed about it first then…“yes”

     

    Hilarious God! I no joke was laughing because of how this all unfolded. He came over for a couple hours. We just enjoyed some quiet time together. He opened up again how scared and depressed he is and going through a massive mind battle. I didn’t say a whole lot. I just listened. As much as I want him, I know it has to be baby steps. In my heart, I know everything is going to okay, but he is not there yet.

     

    I am thanking God, yet again, for a blessed night. I continue to pray for my husband’s conviction. It is heartbreaking seeing him like this, but at least now he is letting me in as God continues to do His work.

  • Be that testimony. When he opens up and tells you he does not know how to handle the mind battle. Tell him how you did it. And are doing it, and will continue to do it.

  • jenn im so happy for you!!! you have no idea.

  • Thank you Natalie. :) Baby steps forward...I will take each new step as a blessing.

  • Even in the humble moments

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