Collaborate without boundaries

Day 20 – praying to act according to His will

Day 20 – praying to act according to His will

  • rated by 0 users
  • This post has 6 Replies |
  • 1 Follower
  • I recently had a "light bulb" moment thinking about life after this and being very positive about that.  Just when I was thinking that I received an interesting email from her that I think could be God's test.  She started to thank me for loving her unconditionally through these days and glad that I'm letting God take charge.  She then started sharing about how one of the guys she was seeing is leaving the country for another job.  Asked me not to worry about her even she's moving out by herself and asked me to take care of myself too.  Explained she maybe rebellious against a sheltered Christian environment and wanted freedom.  She even talked about getting through the tough times "together".

     

    On the surface this looks warm and fuzzy but I'm not at that place anymore where I long for her replies and changes.  I long for God's replies and changes.  I'm of the Lord and she is still obviously not, after reading this letter deeper.  Until she stops running from God that's when any reconciliation can happen.  As long as she is of the world she will continue what she's been doing.  I know that sounds like resentment but it's not.  I'm listening to God and He asked me very clearly not to put her first.  I'll pray and seek opinion from counselor in tomorrow's meeting about this and also if I should be showing some loving toughness.

     

    Today's dare:  I trust Jesus Christ and I admit that I'm a sinner.  He has died for my sins on the cross and now I'm a new person in Christ and I'm enabled by Him to love unconditionally.  This chapter reminds me of a quote I recently heard that is so powerful:  Christianity is not a religion - a religion brings bad to good, Christianity brings death to life.

     

  • James, it is funny. I see a lot of what my situation was in yours. It was like when she started to notice, she was not yet ready to trust me. Thinking the second she comes back it will go by the wayside and back to the way it used to be.

    So she would say something that showed she noticed, but would always put something to try to get a reaction. Like she wanted to be able to say, I knew it was fake...

    But what she did not realize at that time, was that God filled my voids. And I knew that no matter what, be it with her or someone else, God taught me a new meaning of love, and I was going to be happy no matter what.

    Praise Him always...

  • Thanks for the sharing... this has been a humble experience for sure - drop all my rights become nothing and let God mold me

    I'm also really starting to see this now - God is teaching me how to love unconditionally -  with her or someone else.  Praise the Lord.

  • I have a few journals that may help understand some other things. You might want to check them out.

  • Wow James. This was a big day for you. Is this the first time you've prayed like that? where you admit you are a sinner?

     

     

    Leslie Holmes

    Community Builder

  • Hi Leslie, sorry for this late reply.  I don't get email notification when someone replies to my threads.  Anyway, I haven't prayed like that since my early Christian days because there was always a part of me that wanted control and thought that God didn't need to be in that part of me - *I* could handle it.  And haven't admitted that I'm a sinner since the day I gave my life to Jesus and became His follower.  The pride was overwhelming and I slowly forgot how to be humble.  These days when I pray I humble before God and admit that I'm a sinner and have fallen short of the glory of God.  Sometimes I cried during prayers because I could not understand why He kept loving me even though I rejected Him over and over again.

  • James, have you read the appendix? Great prayer guide there.

    And it is amazing how we get to a point to notice those things....

Page 1 of 1 (7 items)