Odd that today is my 20th Dare and it's Sunday. I took our children to our old church w/o my wife who declined to go. The sermon was about Grace and Love, how appropriate... I think I listened more intently than I ever have before, I was very moved by the words, and at the end raised my hand when they asked if anyone wanted to pray with the Pastor to strengthen their walk in faith. I feel so much stronger having gone to church today. The kids enjoyed it as well.
When we left church, I had gotten 2 textx messages from Shelly saying that she felt attacked when I confronted her about sinning and involving our daughter. She went on to say that she doesn't care what I think she isn't a bad person and doesn't see anything wrong with what she's doing. She also said it isn't right to use God as a crutch, hide behind religion, and shove it down her throat. She is also upset that I have involved family members on both sides and said it isn't fair that she's being beaten up by people and that I have an agenda and if it doesn't work, I will return to my old self. Basically she feels like this is all an act to get her back and once it happens, she thinks I'll revert to my former self.
I held my ground and told her that no one is judging her, we're all just praying for her. I went on to say that what she is doing is completely wrong and she knows it, as she was brought up in a God fearing home. I told her that I am not hiding behind religion, just building my faith in Him. I suggested that she's hiding from religion and church because she know what she is doing is wrong. I told her that I love her, but don't like what she's doing, and assured her that God loves her. I told her I wasn't preaching to her about sinning, just that I don't want our children to be exposed to that. She stayed frustrated and told me I have forced her into it because I won't discuss separation. She said she is separating from me period. I think he's putting these words and ideas into her head, and still feel that evil is working on her. I trust that God will touch her heart in his own way at his own time.
I replied that I haven't forced her into anything, and have shown her much love. I told her that it doesn't matter if we're separated or not, it still isn't right to put our kids in that situation, or change my love for her. I said I wasn't arguing with her and told her I love her and have made a decision to live as God has planned for me to and that's not a short-term decision. At this point the kids and I got home, and she said she was leaving for the day to go to a farewell party for a friend who's going to France for 2 years. I learned later this is for "his" daughter who's in her 20's. She said she plans to come home tonight, but took clothes "just in case". Instead of fight with her about not taking clothes to lessen the temptation, I kept quiet and turned it over to God.
We ate lunch as a family and it went well for all of us. It seemed like she enjoyed it and thanked me for doing it. I did tell her that she didn't have to go, but can't make that determination. We all told her we love her and would miss her. Our kids begged her not to go and I told her this is not good for them, she almost cried. I told her that I felt people were giving her bad advice and that she could choose her own happiness. I'm praying for her still and for God to continue to guide me in this journey.
Ugh...Shelly isn't coming home until Tuesday and tried bleming me for confronting her about involving our children in her adultery. She said I went too far, and I replied that I did nothing wrond except protect my children. She's looking for any excuse to blame me to justify her actions. I am praying for her and that God does his will in her life. I am also asking that He give me strength and peace through this. O guess this is the "it'll get worse before it get's better" part... Words of wisdom would be appreciated.
Just do your dares... Don't worry about her and what she is doing. Protect your children, but do so as Christ guides you.
I know the exact position you are in. And it is a tough one. But Christ will guide you to retail.
Not retail. Prevail. Sorry auto spell check.
I believe that Sean, and when I am in doubt I go to Him in prayer and read His word. I just got a test from her saying that she thinks that I went from one extreme to the other and I told her that it didn't happen over night and understand that it's out of her comfort zone. She also feels that I was out of line explaining to our children that what she's doing is wrong and I said that I am protecting them and raising them in a God serving home. I think I struck a nerve when I said I think theres a struggle in her over what FEELS right at the moment and what IS right. I am praying His will be done.