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Re: Dare 20- halfway there :)

Dare 20- halfway there :)

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  • What a day it was today!  I wasn't sure of this dare, becasue it seemed like there wasn't much to it.  But it has been a powerful day.  I felt the Lord walking beside me through the waves of everything today brought about.  It has been amazing. 

    My husband decided he was going out tonight (he has fridays off) & didn't tell me.  I also had plans to study...I like to escape to a coffee shop or library- the change of scenery inspires me!  Well, I didn't think much of my plans because my husband rarely leaves or makes plans without telling me before hand, but when I noticed he was getting ready, I inquired if he was going out.  He said yes.  I simply said, Oh, OK... he asked if I had something to do & I told him I wanted to study but I can do that at home, no problem.  He said he wasn't going to leave until about 9 & if I can be back before that's what happened.  But when I left, I was beginning to panic.  The whole scene was remeniscent of a past time he was involved with someone.  I took a moment to stop the car in a parking lot and prayed.  I asked God to take control & everything I was feeling was lifted out of me.  It was amazing.  I no longer felt the panic.  I understood that whatever was going to happen was out of my control & most importantly, I trusted our Lord.

    I was home by 9 as my husband had asked of me, and I had a HUGE smile on my face knowing God was right there beside me!   I watched some TV & let loose a bit... while my husband paced in and out of the house on the phone & texting someone constantly.  He even left his laptop right next to where I sit to watch TV open and on...I found it amazing that I felt no urge to do any sort of investigating.  It is now 11PM & he still has not left...not sure if he will or won't...but it doesn't matter much to me. 

    I am at peace & would be a blessing to have my husband beside me again, but I know that I am in God's hands & that in itself is gorlious! 

  • isn't it amazing when we honestly trust Christ how much comfort and love we have. Knowing no matter what, that we can count on Him.

    How awesome is it that you can now humble yourself without knowing it and reflecting how Christ has molded you.

    Praise God, praise Him always.

  • It turns out he never eneded up leaving.  He even put on a movie and was watching it & eventually asked if I was going to watch it too.  He was on the computer again, kind of... but I guess part of me was thinking this was something I am going to have to give in on for now.  I guess I also don't mind because now when we "watch" something together we still sit on opposite sides of the couch vesus me cuddling next to him like we used to do...

    My husband seems to be more and more talkative with me lately.  Today he was having a bit of a panic attack becasue something happened with our finances, but through it all I was surprised how cool and calm I was able to stay- even when the blame was aimed at me full force.  He left this evening I am assuming to see friends, but I don't know.  He told me good night before he left- I told him have a nice day (I was a bit flustered he bothered to say anything & still trying to be cool about it).  I am pretty sure he won't be home tonight, but I also think it's another test for me.  Since he has been coming home regularly in the past 4-5 weeks after going to see friends & I haven't said anything about it to him...I am wondering if he is trying to get a reaction out of me.  He can keep trying, but it's not going to happen.

    I did get a little sad when he left, but I talked to God for a little while and handed it over to him.  I feel much better :)

    Also, this may seem inappropriate, but is there a general rule or guideline about sexual intimacy while doing the dares?  LAst night he said "we should be doing this" after he initiated, but he didn't stop either... I am not dwelling on it too much, though.  I trust God will lead the way.

  • No there are no guidelines. You are married. Neither of you should ever hold that as a leverage thing.

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