Collaborate without boundaries

Day 1-7

Day 1-7

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  • After coming home from a afternoon outing I tried to be romantic and kiss and caress her , she says she doesn't feel that way about me anymore ... Devastated and heartbroken I packed a few clothes and left the house . I ended up back at my work and slept at my desk that night. I worked the next few days and snuck back in to work after 10 pm and again slept at my desk while going home in the daytime to shower. ON day 3 she called and asked me to come home. I did, as sleeping at my desk wasn't a long term option , LOL. I was regulated to the couch . That Friday she left for a couple days to sort out her thoughts. When she got home she said she wanted separate bedrooms . I told her to pick upstairs or downstairs but I was staying on the couch. She asked why and I said I believed the beds we slept in were for us as a couple , not to sleep apart in , so i'll take the couch.  I think that made her upset. It was about this time that I watched Fireproof again. So much of the movie clicked with me that I watched it several times over the next week. Not so much as our story was the same ,as ours was caused by her infidelity a year ago but the hurt and anger you feel toward your spouse . The trust is gone and your mind won't let you think of nothing else. You become suspicious of things any time your apart now. I LOVE her to much not to try and work thru this if that's at all possible as she is my world and my everything...I was told I pushed her away to many times and that was her reason for the affairs. I don't believe I pushed her anywhere. I always supported her in her work and at home and tried to be the best husband and father I could be. Were there times we couldn't agree on things like purchases , places to go, things to do , to tired to make love ? Of course , that's part of life .  So now I begin the love dare process and I'm trying everything I can to save my marriage.

  • Welcome.  Realize this will be a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and her.  She will be used as a tool to mold you.  do a dare a day, no more, no less. Do not manipulate the dares to make them easier. Do not read ahead in the book except the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  Have no expectations of her when you complete dares.  Things  may get worse before it gets better, and this  will serve purpose.

    Now, do you think that leaving and sleeping away from home showed unity or selfishness?  

    It is a marital bed. sleep in your bed.  If she wants to show division and sleep somewhere else, let that  be on her.  

    Right now you are doing the dares as we all start out doing them for, and that is to save the marriage.  But you, if  you do the dares as intended, will at some point come to realize you are doing them to grow in Christ and let Him fix the marriage.

    I would suggest next time type in other part of the more active side of this website.  Click on the community tab.  and then click the link The Love Dare Journal section.  You will get others responses in that part of the site.  If you prefer to come back here or cant' find that part of the site, let me know here.  

  • Thank you for the advice Tim. You are right , sleeping away from home was selfish. I was so wounded by her words that I only thought about me. I will go back to my bed and see what happens . I know Christ is holding my hand through this . Lord , I can't do this alone and I am turning my life over to you and asking for your help with this..Amen .

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