So I am on day two. I am still in shock as I write this. I never thought I would be in this place. I have emotionally beat up my wife for many years. I was a very controlling person. My wife received a very big promotion at work in the last 9 months and is now the primary provider financially. She has become a lot more confident in general and has learned to take a stand to me. Over the last few months I have been trying to "work on things" I have realized in the last couple of days it was all flesh and me trying to spear it myself. I was not asking God to change me. So I would still react out on my human flesh.
Friday my wife had a breakdown and told me she is unhappy and is scared there is nothing left. She doesn't think that God wants or expects her to be unhappy. I'm trying to let her talk and not get into a biblical debate. i told her I'm going to fight for our marriage and that God can restore any marriage. she doesn't want to give me hope so that I'm not being unrealistic (Her thoughts) I am trying to remain loving and positive and am pausing and sometimes not responding more in the last couple of days then ever.
The days are like a roller-coaster ride at this point. we will start really having a good conversation and all the sudden she will stop and pull back as she doesn't want to get bullied and just go back to how it was.
My brother and sister in law took our two kids. when I told my wife she was happy. I told Her that we were going to go to a game board Cafe. a few minutes later in conversation my wife said when we go on our date tonight. I was so happy to hear her say that. we were really connecting well in Ikea of all places haha. An hour or so later in the car she said maybe we should just stay home. I asked her why and she responded that she didn't like that I referred to us going out on a date. I said I only called it that after you had called it a date. she stopped and said I did?? I thought you called it a date and then I did after was her response. my heart sank a LOT.
We ended up in a parking lot with star bucks seats reclined looking at the stars. we barely talked while sitting there. I am realizing silence is OK sometimes.
I have discovered(my wife told me) that she has told one person about what's going on. it's a girl from work and they have been discussing this for a little while now. I am very discouraged that she is getting advice from a non believer and someone who just had her parents go through a divorce. this lady barely knows me and has no idea what our family life is like.
I have reached out to our pastor and his wife. we will be meeting up tomorrow. my wife said she is not ready to meet wit h them yet. she is scared they are just going to tell her she has to stay in the marriage etc.
I am moving forward with my pastor and his wife and we are giving my wife an open invitation to talk when she is ready. it will probably be without me in the conversation which I'm ok with completely.
She mentioned that what I am asking for and thinking is going to happen is a miracle. I answered yes im asking God to rescue our marriage which will be a miracle. she does not really like when I respond like that. probably because she's not used to me responding like that.
Guys I'm really hurting and have just scratched the surface on what's going on. My wife wants me to call it so that she doesn't have to hurt me.I am calling on God to take control of the situation and to save my marriage. I know I can't fix this on my own this time around. I am also praying that God will help me love myself so that I can properly love my wife and kids. I feel like I have a long journey ahead but know it will be so worth the pain and suffering.
I look forward to the next dare tomorrow. I pray that I can get some sleep tonight.
WEcome. This will be a journey, between you and Christ, not you and your wife, she will be used as a tool to mold you. Have no expectations from her as you do the dares. Do the dares as intended without manipulating them to make them easier. do not read aheaed, other than the appendix about leading the heart.
Try posting under the community tab, in the Love Dare section. That section getts read much more.
Thanks for your response. It's nice to be able to have a community all fighting and praying together. For some reason I can't seem to find where to post on the journal section.