Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Needing reassurance

Needing reassurance

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  • My boyfriend of 6 years and I have been having trouble in our relationship.  It reached his breaking point a month ago.  He wanted a break from "us." He's at the point of seeing no chance for a future and not wanting to work on the relationship.  We live together and we still are living together.  He feels I took him and his love for granted and didn't return the love he showed me for the last 6 years.  He says it is over as that is what he tells his family.  He even told me that he's not in love with me right now.

     This has definitely been a wake up call to me.  I haven't returned the love that he has shown to me.  I have trust/jealousy/being unkind to him that he took for 6 years because he wanted to make this relationship work because he loved me so much.

     I feel that God is definitely in the works.  My BF has always wanted to marry me, but felt like I needed to fix my issues before we could.  And he is right.  I can finally see how I've been and how a marriage would not have worked.  I've been on the path of God now.  I've been going to a Christian couselor.  I finally talked to my mom about it and she has a strong unwavering faith in God.  And I feel like I'm being guided to hone in on how to love him the right way.  I watched Fireproof last night and I already have the book The Love Dare.  Yesterday was my first day.  

     

    Day 2.  I am not saying anything negative and I need to do something kind for him.

     We have talked everyday at lunch for the last 6 years, even if we don't talk he texts me at least.  Today he did not and it's the first day he hasn't in 6 years.  Feeling sad about that.  So I texted him that I hope his day is going well.  Haven't heard from him.  Day 2 is hard.

     I know God is working on him as well as me.  I just need a little reassurance right now.  Especially since he hasn't texted/called, he's never not called/texted.  I miss him and us.  God is working though.  I am keeping my faith for sure.

     I pray and pray and pray.  

     The Love Dare is a good thing.  It makes you realize what love really is and how to really love.

     Hopeful for some reassurance.

  • Welcome to the site.  when you journal next i would recommend journaling under the community tab, in the love dare journal section, hardly anyone reads this section.

    What i say please do not take as offensive.  

    I struggle helping people that have started there relationship in a non-Godly way, by living together.  I would really recommend starting the foundation in a way that is pleasing to God.

    The reassurance i am sure you are looking for, is the same reassurance i wanted when i first came to this site.  But no one can say this will fix your relationship.   He has the free will God gave him to do what he wants.  

    But this is a journey, one between you and God, not you and your boyfriend.  

    Things will probably get worse before getting better.  This happens to all of us.  Through the dares, he will see you becoming more loving, and he will resent the fact it took this trial to get you to be the person you should have been all along.

    Do a dare a day, no more no less.  Give him the space he wants, and this will give you more time to be with God and more time for God to work on him.

    Many marriages have been saved in this Love Dare.  Some haven't.  But the people who do the dares to grow closer to God are far happier in Christ than before they found the dares.

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