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Day 2—Love is Kind
“Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.”
Everything I tried was shot down - leave work early to take him to get his truck worked on so he wouldn't have to wait around...nope, take our dog for a walk while he goes on a bike ride...nope, go out to dinner since he works on Valentine’s Day...nope. Instead I get "Jenn I am leaving to stay elsewhere for a little while." Now I know I am still not supposed to say anything negative, so I hold my tongue and say I understand, I just don't want it to make you want to leave me. So the unexpected kind gesture for that day? Packing food for him to go stay elsewhere. Crazy, I know. I don't know where that strength came from, well wait, yes I do. It was also reaffirming to hear him say he knows how I feel since I went to the ocean by myself a couple months ago to spend some time to sort through my thoughts. As mentioned in my day 1 entry, that time alone solidified my desire to fight through my feelings and for this marriage. I am praying my husband ends up coming to that same decision. This is going to be probably be the hardest week I've ever experienced. I am going to miss him so dang much!
Everything may have been shot down, but the dare was not a failure. The success of the dares are you trusting Christ no matter what to do them, not the response. You have set your own selfishness aside to trust Christ.
And as for him leaving. You do not have to agree with it, or even support the idea. Take this time to be humble and trust Christ in this time. And DO NOT stop the dares. Do everything you can to complete the dares upcoming. If you can't, fine, but do whatever you can to try. Remember, these dares are between you and Christ!
As for your prayers. Right now, be completely unselfish about them. Pray for your husbands salvation and having Christ in his life. Leave the selfish parts like fixing your marriage aside. Christ already knows those prayers.
So much easier said than done - praying for just my husband's salvation and having Christ in his life when every part of me wants to ALSO pray for our marriage and for my husband to see some light of not giving up since Christ has brought us together. You are right though, Christ already does know their prayers.
Remember this is a journey between you and Christ. He is molding you each day. Part of that is getting through our selfish nature. And when you pray for a soft heart etc... that is complete selfishness.
Pray for the wisdom, the comfort of Christ. Start depending on Christ for everything, not things of this world. Learn to put Christ first, even before your husband.
I know it is hard. But again, this is the time to learn all Christ is offering.