Love is Kind. I tried to be kind and then I got home and smelled cigarette smoke as I was walking up the stairs. I was so pissed. I started yelling. I have asked him a million times not to smoke in the house. He denies it . He lies. There's always evidence to the contrary. Ashes, cigarette butts. Drives me crazy. So I calmed down and later we had some pretty intense discussions about where we are now and we both wished we were in a better place. I feel like he's trying to communicate but I'm also trying very hard not to be negative about what he says cuz some of it is simply crazy. At least we were able to end our evening on a positive note. I'm finding myself becoming more aware and in the back of my head repeating the dare for the day. I am constantly praying the Lord's Prayer so I am able to stay calm. I'm finding that I can redirect myself a bit more now. One day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time.
Be Still... For I am God.... Very important words... Always remember that. Because when you hear that, it means stop and let the Lord take over.
This is only day 2, so I am not going to go into too much. But, Patience, kindness.....
Right now, you need to focus on your journey. Not selfish desires. And yes, yelling about the smoking is a selfish desire. Leave it go for now.
Remember you are not God. You cannot control the situation. Even though you get upset and yell and scream, did he stop? No, why? You not God, you cannot make him do anything.
Would Christ have yelled? Nope! But watch what happens when he knows you know about and yet, you are a calm cool breeze!
WOW. Thanks for the reality check Sean. You are right. All the yelling and scream about the smoking has gone to deaf ears. He still does it. It was selfish. AND yes of course Christ would not yell. I must stop and think of what Christ wants me to do at that moment. It's happening slowly but surely. I feel like they are building on each other with each day and dare that goes by.
remember, you husband is a tool that Christ will use in this journey to mould you