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Re: Day 59 - Love is Impossible

Day 59 - Love is Impossible

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  • Today was just a quiet, still day.  I took our daughter to church, which my husband stayed home.  After church, I made a big lunch for us, and we all sat at the kitchen table to talk about the last couple of days.  We hadn’t had any quiet time as a family in days. 

    After lunch, our daughter went to the computer room to play games, my husband went to the couch to watch movies, and I started cleaning.  That was it for the entire afternoon.  Towards late afternoon, I sat down to watch a couple of movies with my husband.  We decided to go with ice cream for dinner instead of a real dinner.  Our daughter was thrilled! 

    My husband and I visited for a while and talked and laughed about the weekend.  We laughed together about one of the movies we were watching and talked all through it.  The evening was enjoyable.  My husband’s anger seemed to be dissipating.  He was easier to talk to and much more open.  He didn’t have much to say to his dad… he’s still very angry with him, and his dad has no idea.  I don’t want to get involved, and his dad didn’t do anything to warrant a reaction like that. 

    I don’t feel like any of the dares have been difficult to accomplish.  I do notice that this second time around, I am much less manipulative in the dares themselves.  Everything isn’t trying to prove how much he needs me and how much I love him.  Being around and being an ear that will listen… those are the things that he needs.  He doesn’t need anything new or a fancy dinner.  He needs my prayers, and to know that he can trust in me enough to tell me what’s happening in his life.  I have learned more about his work and his anger in the last 60 days than I have ever known before.  Most of the things I’ve learned about him have not been positive. 

    I am also more aware now that I will be just fine no matter what happens.  I can love in a way that I’ve never known before, and that’s such an amazing feeling.  I’m ready to give all of that love to him, and it’s hard sometimes to hold back to something that he’s comfortable with.  I feel like a changed person.  Being still gets easier every day… turning the control over to Christ is easier than I ever could have imagined.  It’s in His hands now – what a relief!  He can do it so much better than I ever could!


  • Becky are you still around? I overlooked this entry.

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