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Re: Day 19: Feels impossible

Day 19: Feels impossible

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  • The aruging just continues from last night's fight.  I'm so tired.  Tired of yelling.  Tired of aruging.  Tired of fighting.  Right now I'm still so upset with him and his recent actions and trying to justify that is ok.  He just doesn't get it.  I really can't stand him right now cuz all I want to do is go off on him.  Which I have been most of the day.   I have nothing positive to say to him.  Just angry words.  I can't even muster any love for him at this moment.  I know I can't stay in this negativity.   He had plans to go see some high school friends for dinner.  So he did that and I did ask him how do I know you are really not going to see the other woman?  How do I know you are not calling her still?  How do I know it's over?  I don't know. And he will continue to say whatever he says which have always been lies this whole year.   I don't trust him.  I don't believe him.  SO I know I must let GOD know ok I dunno what to do here but I TRUST YOU GOD.  I have to just focus on that.  I have to BELIEVE that GOD will take care of all of this.  I reviewed all the dares and looked at my notes from them.  I wrote them all out on a list so I could go to them quickly.  I need to focus on the ones I struggled with and also incorporate as much as I can everyday.    I don't want to live in this misery anymore.  I am hoping tomorrow will be a new day and it will be better than today.  I pray GOD will change my heart and give me the strength to lead my heart. 

  • I agree he does not get it. And no offense... Neither do you!

    I do not mean that as harsh as it looks.

    But this dare is molding you to understand things. One of the most important is unconditional love. And with you saying that you cannot muster up any love means you still do not get it. You can only love based on the condition of the situation.

    In an earlier post, you mentioned how you let God down because of all the failures. Now I am not saying you failed. But no matter what Christ loves you.... UNCONDITIONALLY....

    Now unconditional does not mean allow the person to walk all over you. But BE QUICK TO LISTEN AND SLOW TO SPEAK.....

    And again.... BE STILL......... FOR I AM GOD! That is prayer time when those situations come.

  • OMG WOW you are right :-( I don't get it either.  It's ok Sean you speak the truth and I need to hear the truth.  

    I have definitely not loved my husband unconditionally.  And now in midst of all the the hurt and anger its all the more difficult.  But this wonderful priest once told me "love them the most when they deserve it the least"  easier said than done but that's what GOD does for us.  

    Yeah my mantra has to be BE QUICK TO LISTEN AND SLOW TO SPEAK and then yes of course...........BE STILL FOR I AM GOD!

    Must keep repeating that over and over again so it will become a habit.

  • Do what works best. But commit it to prayer and ask Christ to bring that to you when in need of it.

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