Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Just like the movie

Just like the movie

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  • I'm just joining this group and have been doing the dares now for about a month.  I'm on day #19 and have realized that i'm really living the Fireproof movie.  The part that really hit home to me is when Caleb's dad is in his office and has just heard a message from his son.  He says to himself in essence...Oh Caleb, this is where it gets hard.

    I'm there...my wife and I have been married for 27 years and I'm just now realizing how I have lived a separate life from her and not really involved her in my life at all.  We have the picture-perfect family with 4 children, 1 married, 1 in college, two in high school and my wife is going through some terribly difficult times with me.  I think that it has all built up over the past 27 years and that this is what I have created.  She threw her wedding ring into the lake 2 days ago and told me that she was through with me.  Each day becomes progressively harder and I have leaned on the Lord to help me/us through these times but don't feel any support at the moment.  My wife has told me numerous times that she wants a divorce and finds it difficult to even deal with me in the simplest situations.  We have never had any unfaithfulness in our marriage and have been living gospel principles consistently.  I seem to be the problem in that I don't include my wife in my life at all.  If I do, it is only with very surface things.  I need to develop the courage to put myself out there and involve her in everything knowing that it will be very hard and painful at times...this is where I need some strength from others as well as from the Lord.

    I know that there are others struggling with the same things that I am and my heart goes out to all of you.  I understand the pain the this causes and I would ask for your prayers for my wife and myself and will also give the same in return for each of you and your spouses.  

  • jim,

    First. the good news is, if it is getting worse and more harsh, chances are it is working. When you start this journey with Christ, many little things you cannot notice will change. Christ will allow a testimony to come across.

    Now here is the hard part. Christ wants you to be at the next level. Which is trusting Him with everything. Focus on your dares. Not her. Remember, you must love Christ first to love her better. And it will be hard.

    When people get to this point, they think if they are not doing this or that, then she will leave or be gone. In fact, it is the complete opposite. Do your dares. Leave her to Christ the rest of the day. Any other things you do will more than likely be a manipulation. There is nothing you can do to control the situation. You are not God. So focus on your journey with Christ, let Him deal with her.

    It is good you accept blame here. You are noticing your selfishness.... But remember, she is just as selfish. Christ is preparing you to be a testimony, and when it is time, Christ will open the doors for you to lead her.

    Here is the biggest thing. You never had the oneness that God intended for marriage. That is why you do not include her in your life. But, this journey is going to change that. And I tell you... That oneness when it comes can only come from Christ being first in your life....

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