Since my husband has the kids I knew having dinner alone would be pretty impossible. So, instead, I asked him if he would like to have lunch with me (2 of our kids are at school). I thought of a lot of ways to text my husband to ask him... but I felt like most of them were indirect and a little controlling. For example, I was thinking of asking him if he would share his amazing bean chili recipe with me today & we can have some for lunch... I prayed & prayed. I just didnt want to be sneaky about it to have him to eat a meal with me. So I flat out asked him if he would like to have lunch with me. I knew the risk for rejection was higher because there was no "plan". I got a text back that said "Uh, why?". So i told him, no reason. I could have told him i wanted to talk about the kids or tell him about the little league info I found out, etc, but again, I didn't want to have a plan about it. 30 minutes later he said he has a bunch of stuff to do & our daughter will be going to take her nap soon, so I told him ok.
Was i disappointed? Eh, not really. I am acctually reflecting on it & I am pretty happy I was able to attempt the dare without being manipulating about it. I shouldn't have to bribe him to have lunch or dinner with me becasue I want to talk about the kids or our "situation" or whatever. I can do that on the phone or in e mail. I wanted to have lunch with him just becasue he is my husband and I wanted to spend time with him. Perhaps I could have told him that too... Overall, I am glad I did it.
My mom called this morning, crying again. She calls me everyday now, sometimes more than once & she is in tears. I hate to hear her so distraught over this. She still can't come to terms that I am fine. She tried to talk to me about the visitation agreement I have with my husband even though I didn't want to hear it, I let her talk & I listened. Her concerns are all things I have thought about & I have handed over to God to deal with. She complained about how disrespectful he had been to them in the past year & asked why should she respect him... I explained to her that trying to solve one injustice with another is not going to solve anything. I tried to remind her of the good man he is & asked her to try to remember that. I know it isn't easy for her because she has grown to love & accept him as family... I keep praying that God will comfort her.
Your testimony will shine through to her as well.... The hard part is, that she cannot understand your ability to forgive or even accept. Remember people of the world assume many things and cannot understand how we that are in a walk with Christ handle things so differently....