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Re: Day 18 - incomplete

Day 18 - incomplete

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  • I haven't been online for a few days as it was a holiday weekend in South Africa. I didn't do day 18 as hubby wasn't around much... i went to visit family... I hope i'm able to do it tonight though.

    I have completed Day 19 and 20, with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart... it's true that this is the hardest... especially for a self confessed control freak... I am praying more and hoping to schedule more time for praying...

    I am not only praying for me but for my husband and my son... 

    I finally understand I need to do all the dares to connect with God and to show my full appreciation and love for Him...

    I am afraid for my husband, he is changing so much into such an ugly person and I have started wondering where the wonderful man i married is... Is this my doing? Was my bad ways the reason for his decline?

    I am forever sorry for any hurt I have caused him, especially if this is why he has become this way...

    I am asking God to work through all of us, to have His will in our lives... 

    I am officially on Day 21 today... I will start reading Proverbs as recommended, I also find some of the quotes so true that I think this may be the most inspiring book to read...

     

  • I have completed Day 18 last night, it's hubby's birthday today so I cooked him a good supper and made dessert... I asked him a few questions from Day 18 and he answered me with I don't love you any more, I loved you... I never felt loved by you because your bad overrode your good... this broke my heart... I thought I have always tried to be a good wife to him and obviously I was mistaken... I am praying for God to work through to make me a better woman, I am asking God for his forgiveness for anything wrong I have ever done to my husband... I am so sorry and my heart is so heavy... I cannot believe he thinks I never loved him, he never said this to me before...

    I am on my knees praying for this weight to be lifted from me...

  • Right now don't put to much into those type of things he says. Christ is your journey and He must be first, everything else will come.

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