Day 58—Love still Seeks to
“Prepare a special dinner at
home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you
prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in
areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening
for you and your mate.”
how much I would love to have a special dinner and enjoyable evening with my
husband. I prayed for guidance since I had no clue how to complete the invite
and was striving not to succumb to feelings of rejection because rejection was more
than likely what was going to occur. I was prepared for it though, as I know
Christ has received it from me more than I care to admit in the past.
I sent my husband a message—“I am going to bbq some pork chops since it is so
nice out. Would you want to stop by for a bite to eat and I can give you an
update/show you where I am at with the house?” I did not get a response by the
time I got home from work, but I cooked for both of us anyways and had two
plates ready just in case I did get one or if he showed up announced. No such
luck. After thinking about it though, I am kind of thankful it did not work out because we would have not
really had any privacy since the tile guy started his work in the bathroom this
evening. I look forward to this at some point though—a point to see his depth
and meaning that will amaze me as I continue to discover more of it because now I desire to know him
better than I ever have before.
But how great was it to trust Christ completely and just do what He asked. And still you prepared for 2. There had to be a comfort upon you.
Yes, honestly there was comfort. I even thanked God for that comfort last night because in my "old ways" this would had driven me crazy.
I did not know how to complete this one since we are not living together and he isn't talking to me. Yesterday he handed me a note as we passed in the doorway (he babysits the kids when I work.) The note was to me from someone given to him about an unpaid job placement. Something I was looking into before the seperation. I took him handing me the note as a slap in my face, he's been telling me to quit my current job so I can make more money so he doesn't have to support me when the divorce goes through. The note would have been fine had I received it from anyone else, but from him it hurt and when I didn't jump for joy he mocked me and put down my current job. I was hurt all night at work and I thought there was no way I was going to do today's dare. I prayed and woke up this morning with an idea. I felt badly about how I received the note and I felt moved to say I was sorry for not thankfully receiving it. I messaged him and told him I was sorry and invited him to dinner. He said thanks, but I am not sure if it was for dinner or not. I still don't know if he is coming but I will prepare a a seat at the table for him. I assume he will just come at normal time to keep the kids and eat then but I will be ready just in case. It won't be a dinner for two of us because the kids are here, but at least I found a way to do something to complete this dare.
you cannot assume those things. They always are not what they seem. Hand it to Christ to deal with. And be humble in those times. It may also be a situation where he still wants you to depend on him so you cannot afford to go on your own
Sean, he didn't end up coming until it was time for me to leave. He ate while I was at work. You were right in that I shouldn't assume things. I don't know what's going to happen or what his thoughts are right now. I was happy to compete the next two dares though. A few dares ago I read that I was to give opportunity for my husband to serve me. friday night on my way to work my van overheated. I tried everything to avoid calling my husband for help but the clock was ticking and I needed help or I'd be late. I called him and it turned out that he couldn't help me because our son was sick with the stomach flu. I managed to get a qucik fix which got me to and from work. I arrived home in the middle of the night. Since our son was sick and the van was broken my husband couldn't avoid talking to me. This was our first conversation since he left. He told me about our son and wanted to know what I wanted him to do about the van. I immediately put my defences up and shut him out. However, he had to come back in 3 hours and after a night of prayer, I gave in and let him fix the van and pick up our daughter from a sleepover. When he dropped my van off fixed I asked him how he paid for it and he just said he charged it. I had been planning on paying for it, even though it would have been a struggle for me. Just before I was going to offer him the money I felt my mouth bind up and God said no. So I didn't offer and he never asked for money. The kids had been bugging me to take them bike riding but I didn't have a bike. Their dad races mountain bikes and he used to take them frequently but never ever asked me to join, so I never needed a bike. I was flipping throught the sales flyers later that day and found a bike on sale for the amount my husband spent on fixing the van. I bought the bike, and got to the cash and was given a scratch ticket where I got a bigger discount. My kids and I went for a nice muddy, off-road ride. Something I never thought I could do because I always felt inadequate beside my husband. God has shown me I am enough, I can do "manly" things, I need to stop putting walls up when I am hurting and let people do things for me, and sometimes it is ok to spend money on things like bikes. These are all areas I need to work on. This whole weekend has completely re-set my mind and spirit. You know what? While I missed that my husband wasn't enjoying the bike ride with us, I still had fun, a silly kind of kid fun that I haven't had in a very long time. I thank God for binding my mouth and I thank God that I was finally able to hear "no" and faithful enough to follow Him.
This is giving the burden to Christ. and with this all things are possible. Just continue your dares, and remember Christ is molding you