Well my husband is already upset with me and when he's like that he pretty much ignores me. We had an argument last night and tho I could have handled the situation by not saying some of the things I did, I felt very strongly about my reasoning for being upset. I've gotten better at holding my tongue and avoiding arguments (we have a horrible communication problem... my husband likes avoiding every problem, so we rarely solve any issues. They're just ignored and moved on from until brought up again). But last nights problem interfered with a moral issue when it comes to our son, and I had to stand up for what was right, otherwise it would have been dropped. That of course was followed by ignoring me last night and not kissing me goodbye this morning and telling me he loved me. I apologized before bed last night for some of the things I said. He ignored it. I told him bye this morning and he said bye. I told him I loved him, and he closed the door and left. Usually, I would be down. But I know that's what Satan wants. I've been trying to put my complete trust in God and focus on my relationship with Him because I know this Love Dare journey is about God molding me into the person He would like me to be, and I know that testimony will be what God uses to save my marriage and reach my husband. I pray for this everyday. Although I look at my husband and see such a hard person that's incapable of change, I know God is much bigger. And I know God can do all things that seem impossible to me.
So, obviously it's going to be hard to make dinner special tonight. I will make every effort to do so, and know that even if he could care less and has no interest in sitting down with me for dinner, I will do it anyway and not worry about the rejection. I have to show love even when it's not reciprocated, just as God loves me. I feel nervous because I don't want him to reject me. But, it's not something I need to worry about. It's just hard. I just have to pray that God would give me the strength to get thru this, knowing that he has a bigger plan regardless of the outcome tonight. Satan wants me to feel hopeless, but I refuse to give up. So although I know tonight may not go as I want, I will still pray for God to turn this day around.
The questions part, if we make to that, will be hard. My husband always complains that I ask too many questions. It doesn't even matter sometimes if I ask him how his day was. It's so hard to try to get to know someone more when they HATE questions. It always depends on what kind of mood he's in. Yesterday's dare obviously failed... I know that it's going to be a long process and journey of finding that intimacy, the kind that God desires, in my marriage. But it can only be taken one day at a time. Sooo... I guess we'll just have to wait and see how this evening goes!!!
First. Your reasoning for being upset, will always be justified in your mind. Selfishness will creep its head in everytime... Soon enough you will see the difference.
But as for your failed dare. Why do you say it was a failure? As long as you attempt the dare in the way it was intended, and not manipulatied, then it was a success. What blessing comes out of it?
If rejection or a bad response humbles you, then that is the blessing. Every single dare you do will have blessing.
Thanks Sean. I guess I said it was a failure b/c I did say some things to him that shouldn't have been said, simply out of anger. I could have handled it a little differently I suppose. I made my best effort at having a nice dinner, and it went much better than expected. Our son was with us, however, and although we didn't talk much on a deeper level, it was nice that he joined me for dinner. We usually eat in the living room and watch TV, so it was a step up. Thanks so much for responding to me... God is definitely at work. I just have to have patience and continue working on my relationship with God and letting him love thru me!
Here everyday if you need. In fact it is good to come everyday and post about your day. We that have been through this already can be great accountability partners...