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Re: Day 17 - I look to HIm hope I am doing it right

Day 17 - I look to HIm hope I am doing it right

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  • Let me first start with last night.  My youngest go up every hour until 3:00 when I finally had to ask her what was wrong.  I don't know if she will tell her mother but we talked about me coming home.  She wants me home and I finally told her I wanted to be home with her.  She hugged me tight and I told her I love her and she said she loved me.  I don't know what it was about me telling her I wanted to come home to stay with her but she finally slept through till the morning. I prayed after that I did not do the wrong thing and I continue to ask God for guidance on how to handle my girls so that they know they are loved.

    Day 16 - Here are my prayers:

    1. That God will guide my wife to peace and happiness and he will take care of her needs and release her from any pain or stress.

    2. That God will soften our hearts to him and one another.

    3. That God will turn my marriage around and make it into what he wants it to be.

    4. That he will continue to change me to do his will regardless of the outcome even though I hope for reconciliation

    5. I pray my selfish prayer because I know he knows it is on my heart and I can't seem to let it go that I am living with my family again before school starts and we are working with God to make our marriage and family what he wants it to be.

    Besides these prayers I also pray for the man that my wife cheated with that he and his wife come closer to God and if it ishis will their marriage is restored and made better than before.  After much prayer over this time the last week and a half I have been able to pray for this last one.  Today and this weekend I have decided that I will treat her how I would want to be treated when I had the girls. So I texted her when we were heading to breakfast before church I told her where and that if she wanted to meet us or I would text when we got to church so she can walk one of the girls to their class.  Although she didn't want to do either because she was running late I feel that I will continue to offer because that is what I want when she has the girls and it doesn't matter if she does it for me.  By offering I am showing her love as if it was me.  We did have a brief conversation because I had to drop something off after I had dropped the girls off and I asked to wait until the girls were out of the bath to see them.  She said you just saw them 30 minutes ago.  I tried to explain to her how not being around them is so different when you don't get to put them to bed or kiss them before you go to work.  I also asked her what do I have to do to get us to talk and spend time together.  I don't know why I did.  She says she doesn't have a desire to hang out with me right now, but doesn't have a good reason to explain it.  I told her that's OK but that I would continue to reach out because I want her to know I want to talk and see her as well as I want her to be happy.  She will not tell me to stop calling or texting but she wont talk to me every time. I pray that God will continue to allow me to show her love as he is showing me love in that I got to spend a great weekend with my girls as well as a great message at church.  I guess the message moved me to talk today because it was about how we look for people to co-sign our bad decisions and we will continue until we find that person and then we feel our decisions are ok.  He made the mention of married people who choose not to wear their wedding rings.  I never stopped wearing mine but my wife stopped wearing hers 2 weeks before our seperation started.  The weird thing is they are still on top of the dresser so she has to see them everyday as she puts on her clothes and other jewelry.He talked about how God can change any of us regardless of what we have done as he changed Saul to Paul.  I know he is changing me and I pray he is changing my wife to the woman he wants her to be.  Hopefully that woman will want to continue to be my wife.

  • Seek His will

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