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Re: Love promotes intimacy Day 17

Love promotes intimacy Day 17

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  • I've never had issues keeping his secrets. He really doesn't tell me much. He's told me somethings about his military things. and i keep those close to me. He always thinks that i'm judging him about that stuff, but i could never judge him. I've done worse in my past. I've prayed for him today and yesterday so much. I'm losing hope. I'm feeling lost and confused. I'm feeling angry. I didn't let myself text or call him all day today. And when i finally did i snapped on him cause i was angry with myself and at him. i stopped texting cause i could feel the angry words coming out. I finally just told him that i was angry and i had to stop texting. He asked what i was angry about, but i told him i couldn't talk at work about it. i knew how i would get. A few hours later i texted and apologized. I said i didn't want to disrespect him in anyway. I just hope tomorrow is better than today. I feel like i'm losing the fight.
  • Natalie,

    It seems you have so much anger. Why? In this journey, you have learned that you can place all your burdens on Christ. Stop carrying it. Hand it over.

  • im angry for many things.  Why i'm not sure... i'm angry at myself for not doing this sooner.  I'm angry at him for giving up so easily.  But i have a lot bottled up inside from my past that comes out every so often.  I try to leave it where it is.  the past but it always creeps on me.  i just don't know how to stop sometimes.  but i least i'm getting better at lashing out so much.  

  • Dont be angry. Especially about not doing this sooner. If you would have your commitment would not be what it is today. And remember, this is Gods plan not yours. He is humbling you, molding you and teaching you.

    It is hard now. But watch. soon you will realize that it all had a purpose. Well, that is if you focus on Christ and your relationship with Him. Pray for that wisdom to understand, He will bless you with it.

  • Maybe it is the "day" we are all on that brings out anger. Or maybe it is just a natural part of this whole process. Yesterday I went to bed content and prayerful, thinking today would be the easiest day yet (I am on day 16.) Instead, I woke up feeling angry and exhausted. I finially managed to pray for my husband this afternoon after praying a lot for myself. I prayed honestly and wholeheartedly for him. It was a struggle though. I feel a bit like Natalie, sorry I didn't start this sooner. I am upset how I responded to my husband in the end. When I read about talking with him about his secrets...it hit a note with me. My husband has always lead a seperate life, one he keeps secret from me and our family. I have always wanted for him to share his secrets, and I honestly wouldn't judge him for whatever he has going on. I guess I just have longed to be let into his world. So this dare, day 17 is one I have been working on for 16 years now. So, I am sitting here crying, realizing it is one more thing I haven't given to God yet. I can honestly say, He can have it because I don't want it anymore. It shouldn't be so hard to give up control of things I don't even want to bare in the first place. I don't know why I held on for so long. Tomorrow I am supposed to complete this dare, and he isn't talking to me. I think this dare is too deep for us to tackle so soon. I will have to come back to it when we are talking. For now, I am going to pray and be alone with God and give him some space.

  • Lindsay,

    Dont be sorry for not starting this sooner. Christ made sure you were ready when you started...

    And that longing you feel for your husband.... Christ longs for you. This is what this journey is about. To expose Christs deep desire to be apart of your life each and everyday. He will expose to you things about your relationship with Him through your situation with your spouse through this journey.

    That is why I told you in the past this is a journey between you and Christ. Not you and your husband.

    You cannot make right with your spouse until you have made right with Christ. And you must love Christ first, so that you may love others better.

    Each day, each dare if you seek out, Christ will show you. Not talking to your husband right now, may be Gods way of getting you to see these things.

  • Sean, why is it so hard to give everything to God even though that is what you want to do. I know there's still stuff I am holding on to, I just don't know exactly what they are yet. I just know that I sill feel sick and restless, not peaceful like I should if I have completely surrendered to God. I don't know if I even know how to surrender anymore. I remember a time when I was always at peace, prayers were answered and I never felt like I do now. Is this what you mean this journey is about, surrendering to God, and these dares are a tool that will help me get back to where I once was? I just want the battle inside me to stop but I am not sure how to stop it.

  • First of all... Every prayer is answered. Just the answer is not always yes.

    Second. You chose this journey. And God will get every little thing out and exposed. And will mold you until His work is done. Dont worry about the unknown. Worry about your journey with Christ and where you can take it. Lead your heart to Him each and every day.

    All this stuff is a hidden blessing... You'll see soon enough.

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