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Day 16 - My wife just served me the Divorce papers.

Day 16 - My wife just served me the Divorce papers.

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  • OH yeah. Your not kidding when you said Tim its going to get worse before it gets better. Yeah my wife that I am currently living with in the apartment just

    served me the Divorce papers today. I almost gave up on this dare. But because I made a promise to Jesus that I would complete it. I will press on and 

    STAY THE COURSE. I literally broke down on the floor crying, yelling, screaming. Then after the tears stopped coming out. I spoke to my pastor and provided

    wise counsel. I then opened my Love Dare book went to Day 16 and it gave me insight and more Godly wisdom and Max Lucado's Book " You'll Get Through

    This: Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times. I decided to press on and prayed for these 3 things:

    ( 1 ) My wife's salvation in Jesus Christ.

    ( 2 ) That Jesus makes himself REAL in my wife's heart in the form of forgiveness.

    ( 3 ) That my marriage gets restored only when my wife has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

     

    I have been married for 12 years and my wife isn't saved. Its something that I have longed for for us to pray together and even for her to have that desire 

    to pray for me but again I haven't been the best example of a christian husband so that I am sure has tarnished her image of christianity.

    OH boy for the next month and a half. I have to crucify myself and earn to live with my wife as her friend until we find separate apartments. Also come to terms

    to sign the divorce papers amicably against my will just to grant her peace & happiness in her life that she states is the reason for her Divorce. Last night she

    was in tears breaking down. i heard her crying her eyes out as she prepared to take the documents to the courthouse today.

    GOD have mercy and Grace on my situation. 

  • these moments are certainly tough, no doubt.  But, with Christ, all things are overcome.  Think of how tough it was for Jesus to allow mere humans to crucify Him.  He had the power to stop it.  During your pain and mine, and everyone's pain that comes to this site, we all probably would have stopped our spouses from their path of divorce if we could have.  So, look how much stronger Jesus was in not taking advantage of the power to stop His brutal torture and death.  And then seek His strength and ask Him to carry you through this trial of yours.  and then accept His peace, it is truly a gift.

    Right now, do not  worry or pray that your wife finds happiness.  That is the world's thinking, to have happiness.  In time, when she is in God's will, pray she finds joy in Jesus.  God's joy doesn't end, where the world's happiness is fleeting and fluctuates moment to moment.  If she is in turmoil over this, this is good.  In turmoil is when she may change.   Just like you and me.  We both reached to God so much more  when our spouses hit us with this trial.  So, let her pain bring her to Christ.  

    Keep doing the dares as you said, for God.  And continue to let Him work in both of you.  She needs to see you continue in building your testimony.  

  • Morning Tim,

    Thank you. I prayed and signed the Divorce papers yesterday in front of a notary. Then I broke down. I called my friend and he told me to read Psalm 61. Its been getting hard to cont the Love Dare. I really am trying really hard to become a new man and release  my old selfish ways through Christ. Slowly Christ has been allowing friendship to build all over again since we are still living in the same apartment till we move our separate ways.

  • Have no expectations that the d will go through or that you will move your separate ways.   God  wrote the  marital vows in her DNA.  It is hard for her to dispute that.  She will feel the conviction from Christ.  You continuing to do the dares for Christ will open the  doors more fully for  Christ to work in her.  

    Regardless if the d happens or not, know God's divine providence for you is perfect.  You will be in peace as you seek God and put Him above everything.  

    and this peace will shine Christ's light and will be something she will see, and also hear about from others.  It is crazy how word gets back to our spouses how we are now  different.  Do not push for this to happen.  If it happens, let it be on Christ's designs.

    It is a difficult part of a difficult trial, but Christ's joy can be had in this turmoil.  And when we hurt, that is when we grow the most in Christ.

    do not despair, have faith and hope  in your Savior.  For Who or  what is more  powerful than your Father in heaven Who desires good for  you?  Putting God first allows Him to use all that happens for your good.

    Be in peace, be in the  Psalms as your friend suggested.  Be in the bible, church, and prayer.

    Pray she has God's will done in her life, feels Christ's conviction, knows  what it is, and how to lessen the pain of feeling this conviction.

     She needs to continue to see your testimony so do the dares as best you can.

    Love is most evident in pain.  Keep loving her unconditionally.

  • Good morning , I just found you here today and hope its ok to add another voice. It's very hard when one person controls whether or not the marriage survives or so it seems. Know that you are not alone my friend. I am several days behind you in the Dares and struggling also . It is also hard for me to give advice when my marriage is failing also.  I am also living with my wife as just a friend now . It is very hard to say I love you's and not hear it spoken back.Or the simple things like holding hands or a kiss. My wife used to go to church with me but now I go alone and pray for her . I also have found that giving them their space is most times the best thing you can do. I have also wanted to quit but I have also promised the Lord that I will finish the dares like you. Don't be afraid to cry, it helps me also to release all the emotion and stress inside . I will pray for you also , for Gods mercy and grace to give you peace and love.

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