Boy did I ever need this today. And I didn't even know how much as I read it this morning. My husband has been talking to a "girl" friend who has had a lot of problems recently. Today as we were going to grab some lunch, she called. He talked for a few mins and then let her go. He then text her saying "I'm sorry baby" and was saying that I was with him. He had moved the phone to shift gears and I could clearly see the message. I asked him did you just call her baby? I confronted him about all the stuff with her and was asking what it was all about, because as far as he had told me it was just helping a friend. The other day I had also seen a text from her saying "Love you" and he responded "Love you too" I also confronted him about this too. Let me point out, that I was not snooping, he was on his phone and knew I was right there, but I don't think he expected me to be able to see these. I feel so hurt and betrayed. Even though we have been separated for 4 months, we are still married. This is my second time through the Love Dare, and I think it has helped me to be able to confront him today in a more calm way than I would have done had this been months ago. It does not take away the hurt that I am feeling but it does help me to go to HIM through it.
I cannot make decisions or choices for my husband. He has to make them, and ultimately deal with the consequences of them. He is also supposed to be going to visit this girl for a week, leaving tomorrow. This all stings very much, now knowing what is really going on. It may not be adultery in a physical sense, but it is basically an emotional affair to me.
So having a dare today that has me pray for my husbands heart is probably just exactly what I need. Something amazing happens when praying for someone, your heart is softened and anger and bitterness melt away. There are still many more hours left in this day, many hours in which I can turn to God and release my negative feelings.
This goes to show how important it is to depend completely in Christ and desire Him to fill your voids, and not people or things here, not even you husband.
This is even more of a time for praying that Gods will be in your husbands life, and your ability to be a testimony through whatever that is.
we talked for a while about things last night after I had confronted him about this all. I even ended up giving him my love dare book and journal from the first time around, asking if he would read it strictly as an insight to what I have been learning and doing. I debated doing this for a while, but last night for some reason it just felt right. I didn't want him to take it as me trying to get him to do it, or me somehow telling him that I am better than he is or anything like that. Just as an insight to my growing. I'm not sure how much of it he read, he said he couldn't get very far into it, but that he had read enough to know that I was really trying hard to work on myself and that that fact was not lost on him and that it did mean a lot to him.
This morning he came to me and said "you're right, we are still married, and there are things that I shouldn't be doing." He still went to visit her, but told me that he had made the decision that is was strictly on a friend basis. I asked him if that's what she thinks it is too, and he said that he will need to make it very clear to her.
I am not by any means happy that he went, but I do know that he is going with a heavy conscious. He told me that he still cares very deeply for me and that he does love me very much, but he doesn't know what will happen with us. All I can do is pray and let God work in him. And as crazy as this all sounds, it actually feels like a step in the right direction for us.
God is good and works in mysterious ways, all we need to do is let Him, and let Him do it in his own time.
By giving him the dare, you took control back from Christ... Watch fireproof if you have not yet. By yourself no interruptions.
You have to stop doing things your way, that is what got you here.
Maybe in a way I did, I'm really not trying to but it felt like it was the right thing to do, and I can't really explain that. I'm not really very good at discerning what God wants me to do. That's been one of the most difficult things, because I want to hear Him, I want to do what He wants me to do.
It is still in Gods hands, and I pray all throughout the day everyday. I do have fireproof, I have watched it quite a few times and return to it often.
Not in a way..l it w a 100%. You justified it in your own mind.
We have all been there. This is why we have accountability. Even in the movie, did Caleb give his wife the book? Nope it was a secret the whole time.
One of the biggest concerns about giving her the book. If she is not ready for it then your testimony is in her mind fake because you are gettting it from a book. Or she flat out don't care.
The other thing is expectation. If she does start to look at it, what if your completion of a dare is not to the level of her expectation?
Pray hard on these things. Think about them. Especially if it is your will or His