Today is Day 16. This journey has had its share of ups and downs. As I mentioned in my posting yesterday, Day 15 was a mixture of both, but ended on a down note. Today, after an evening and morning spent in prayer, I have resolved to further strengthen my commitment to Christ and to continue to hand over control to him. Yesterday was further proof that when I am weak and I take control, I do nothing but damage.
For today's dare, I will continue to pray for my wife, as I have in recent days. But today I will pray for her in three specific areas:
1. I pray that Christ continues to work through her as he has in me. I pray that her relationship to him is further repaired and strengthened.
2. I pray for her to have success and to feel value. As I mentioned yesterday, a recent job search has her feeling a variety of mixed emotions. I pray she has a success in her search, small or large, that shows her that she is highly skilled and highly valued.
3. More than anything I pray that Christ will heal the hurt that I have caused her. Even if she doesn't see change in me, regardless of what happens, I pray the Lord heals her wounds and makes her feel truly loved in every way.
Pray for Gods will in her life.
I want you to really think about those 3 things. Are they selfish or are they pure requests. Would you pray those same things even if she left? The reason I ask, is make sure that you prayer (the 3 things) are pure and not just a selfish prayer in hopes that if those things happen everything will be fine between the 2 of you.
Thank you again.
I think the most selfish of the requests is probably the third on the list: to heal the hurt I have caused her. You're right, part of me prays for this because I think it will make the situation better. But part of me also prays for it out of guilt and shame. I would still pray for this even if she wasn't at home, but probably would be doing so in hopes of improving our marriage.
The second prayer is pure. Even before we were having difficulties it hurt me to see the way her job search was making her feel. She's currently employed, but at a job with no advancement opportunities. She has a college education and feels as though she's wasting her talents. She's loved and appreciated at her current job, but isn't satisfied. Unfortunately the job climate in our area isn't that great, so her search has been unsuccessful.
As a result, it's left her feeling, in her words, useless. I would love to see Christ work in her and give her even the smallest success in her search. Even an interview would boost her spirits.
I guess the root of this prayer is that I pray everyday for her to get some of her pride back.
Thanks again for listening.
This I am sure is all a part of Gods plan. In your prayers lay those burdens of her on Christ and let Him deal with it. Right now your walk with Christ must grow. You need to be the testimony to her to show her the true path to happiness.