So after a difficult night... the day went better. My husband slept on the couch for the first time in a LONG time last night. I just let him be. I went up to the kids room we watched some cartoons, came down ate some breakfast & I took them outside for some sidewalk chalk time. It was so peaceful and calm. Shortly afterwards my husbnad showed up out there and started talking to me about what he did the night before (just a little bit, but it's better than nothing), and about his work out routines, etc. It was all him initiating the conversations. I was kind and polite and even joked around a little bit with him. It was so nice. I mentioned I was going to take the kids to the park in a bit- but he didn't want to go. So I took the boys and my baby girl to the park, we ran around, played some ball, met new friends and came home over an hour later for lunch and then naps. While my kids napped, I cleaned out the garage for my husband. We moved to a smaller house a few months back and still ahve LOTS of boxes stored. SO I went through things, cleaned them up, rearranged things & now there is LOTS of space!
HE slept through a lot of the day since he didn't get in till 5AM last night...and we haven't talked much since the morning. I miss talking to him. I realize though that we're still working through a lot of things, so I will just continue to be patient and trust in the Lord. I was a bit disappointed that he slept on the couch last night, but I remembered that I have been told many times it will get worse before it gets better... so maybe this is him testing me more to start up an argument about where he is sleeping. But I refuse to give in.
Tomorrows dare is to pray for him. I have been doing that for a long time now & will continue to do so. I will ask him if he would like to come to mass with me and the kids though...I figure the more he is surrounded by God, the better.
The more you focus on the Lord and serving Him, the less you will focus on your husband. Now, do not misunderstand that. You will be putting God first. But when your husband sees this, he will fight for the position. When you do not give that up, he will look at your testimony and God willing, accept it and fall into place with Christ.
God will give you strength through all this.