Day 15 Forum: Love is Honorable - Recent Threads

Leading my heart - Day 15

muneerah — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 07:47:54 GMT

My heart battles with "do this for him, be kind" and "don't do it he is so undeserving..."

My washing machine's drainage pipe gave in on me over the weekend and my husband said he would not fix it, he would make life so uncomfortable for me I would have no option but to move... I bawled my eyes out at his cruelty...

I considered taking his laundry and dumping it in the bin because of my anger and frustration...

Today's dare gives me the opportunity to do his laundry and put it away, how I'm going to fix the washing machine I'm not sure of but I am determined to do it... and it also gives me the opportunity to lead my heart...

I know my husband believes I don't respect him because I have a very forceful personality but I am making a resolution in my heart to honor him going forward...

"I laugh in the face of danger (satan)"

Day 15 and lost

granehe — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 19:42:42 GMT

Dust237 Day 15 20120810

dust237 — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 19:32:26 GMT

I tied to show my wife honor inall that I did today. I got up and made breakfast for my youngest son and I cleaned that mess up. Got up our oldest son. Theres other small things like taking her Mary Kay things out to the car for her facial with friends. Butprobally the most important is asking Christi about her MaryKay and listening to her about it. The results was maybe a slight deposit with her and a small re-growth in ourrelationship. Continue listening to her and getting interested/involved in the conversations.

Day 55 - Love is Honorable

BeckyA — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 20:18:04 GMT

I feel like I’m losing the strength to stand, so now I’m on my knees!

Today’s dare is a continuation of what happened yesterday. Today, I broke the news to my parents that I would be unable to come to the beach with them. I talked to my dad, since my mom is still not talking to me. He cried. He is supportive of me no matter what decision I make in my life. My dad is in his mid 70s and not in good health; he knows that every vacation we take as a family may be the last one that he has the strength for. I felt horrible for hurting him. I know that he understands. It’s so hard for him to watch any of his kids go through any kind of heartache. I know that I’m honoring my marriage by putting my husband first in this situation. I do everything I can to honor my parents as well. I pray for my mom’s heart to soften. When they dropped my brother off at church on Sunday, he said that they almost stayed.

My husband was still pretty difficult. He had horrible things to say about his job. After work, he hit the couch, and that’s where he stayed for the rest of the evening / night. He had a disagreement with our daughter during the evening while I was walking the dog. He wanted her downstairs immediately when he called her, and she was following a rule about having her room cleaned before leaving it. I had to take her aside and calm her down. I could see his anger when I walked in the door and her confusion when she came downstairs. She and I prayed together before bed and had some time with just the two of us.

Love Dare Day 15/55- Love is Honorable

InPieces — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 23:48:54 GMT

Honestly I am having a really hard time with the dares where I am supposed to do something above and beyond what I would normally do. I have always tried to do everything for my husband that I possible could. He works full time and I don't. I was in school taking classes but haven't had anything over the summer. I had been living apart from my husband from the end of March until the end of June. Now we are back in the same house (temporarily until I can find a place) but in separate bedrooms. The weird thing is that we still get along great. He says he likes being around me, likes talking to me, cares about me, and still tells me that he loves me. We just don't have any of the physical affection that goes into a marriage anymore.

I still try to do things for him even though he isn't expecting me to do anything. Right now, he doesn't think that the marriage will work, and quite frankly I don't even see any signs in him that he even wants to work on it. Plus he has been helping out a friend, who is a girl, that is in a fairly similar situation and he seems to be doing anything to help her, but not help his own marriage. I try to keep my anger, bitterness and hurt in check. But I'm realizing that it's coming out in this post.

One good thing that has come out of our separation is that I have come back to God. My husband is a believer and reads the bible and prays, but will not go to church with me or do any kind of counseling either. All I can do is work on myself and pray for God to work in him.

I did go to the store and find a card for him today. One of the things that he has said is that he thought I didn't make enough time for him, and he felt useless/worthless. He also feels like he has done nothing good for me. So I made sure to let him know in the card that he is NOT these things and let him know how much he has done for me. I feel like I have completed today's dare through this. Most of the time when I give him a card, he will read it and then be kind of awkward. Today after he read it, he wasn't that way. He was open and talking to me.

This is my second time doing the Love Dare, and I came to this forum to be able to share what I am going through and know that others are going through the same stressful situations. There is strength that comes in numbers, as well as encouragement.

God made lemonade!

Manorahsjoy — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 09:20:31 GMT

Today, I spoke to him about how I prefer him above others.

I explained to him how in my life, I choose to put him above everyone else and that even if I am hanging out with my freinds and he calls, he will take precidence over what I am doing.

I told him that, I desired for him to be that way with me becuase that is how I am with him. (Now, in the days of doing these dares I realise that there is no gaurentee that this will be the case but I just stated my desire none the less)

The result was that when we got home, he helped me with the cooking and came over to say that he is very happy that he married me, that he sees me as a miracle to him and his family. He put on some Bebe and Cece Winans music and we started singing and dancing. Later that night, he told me that his family will be so suprised to see how he has changed in his appearance and how they will all say its because of me. I told him that all this is God working through me to show His love for him and to show him that God has better plans for his life that dont just stop at the outward appearance but the heart too.He just lowered his head when I said that and sort of took time to absorb it. Funny thing is that I actually meant every word... I guess I am a tool too.

In the comming days, I can rehearsse all that I have learnt in the love dares, I can commit to be consistent in all that I have commited to do. I have been afraid of telling my husband how i feel about him because i was not getting the love back from him but at this point I felt, what have I got to loose.

I have NEVER told him that I prefer him and even though the bible says that wives should do that to thier husbands, I remember I actually prayed for God to help me understand what it means to prefer your spouse. This is like 4 months later and I am on DAY15 of the dare and with out knowing it, I can see that I understand what it means to prefer your husband. I also know that I can prefer him, even though he may not do the same.

In verbalising that to him, it was like a void had been filled where I am meant to fill it with the word of God in obeying His standard.

I feel like God has made a way for me to obey His word and it feels really good.

I have never felt this way before.

In the midst of the storm, God brings peace, I tell you it really does surpass understanding, especially my own understanding.

This really is a journey.

I named this entry , God made lemonade because the bitterness of opening my heart, has become sweet and bearable , like lemonade.

Day #15 - Love is Honorable

JasonEmigh — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 22:49:47 GMT

Well, my wife Shelly still is not home, day #8 since she left... I continue to do the dares to the best of my ability with her being gone and having very little contact with her. There are a couple I'll have to complete when she returns. For today's dare, I chose to show my honor by doing something special from our wedding day that we've both forgotten over the years. I got her a live red rose and and preserved pink rose. These are significant as we incorporated a "rose ceremony" into our traditional wedding where our first gift to each other in marriage was a red rose. In the ceremony these roses are to be used to say things like "I love you", I'm sorry", "I forgive". So the live red rose is for this part as a symbol that I care about the vows and day of our wedding, and to tell her I love her. I also printed out a version of the "rose ceremony" to remind her of the love that brought us together in the first place. I got the preserved pink rose to signify my undying love for her. I also wrote a short note to accompany this pink rose basically telling her that no matter how this rose is trated or ignored, it lives just like my love for her. In addition, I added that this is how God loves us, unconditionally and w/o question no matter what we do with it, adding that we can feel perfect love by turning our hearts to God and living according to his will. I placed both on her bed as I am currently sleeping on the couch, even when she's gone. I am hoping the red rose survives until her return in the next day or two. I continue to pray daily for her and for me as I struggle at times with her gone. I love you Shelly...

Day 15 - Love is Honorable

BeckyA — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 13:41:17 GMT

Day 15 – Love is Honorable. I don’t feel like I did anything amazing for this one. I bought my husband some shirts that he needed – he told me I didn’t need to do that. He did look at them when he got home. I deposited a check for him and had dinner ready when he got home. Our daughter asked why we were doing special things for Daddy… it wasn’t father’s day. We talked about how we needed to treat every day like father’s day and make Daddy always feel special. I feel that conversation was fulfilling the dare.

Day 15: Honor

Dan — Wed, 30 May 2012 00:44:14 GMT

I did a couple of things today to show that I honor and respect my wife, but I feel as though when it came down to the true test, I failed.

To begin with, we both needed to pick up items at the grocery store after work. During the work day, I sent her an instant message and asked if I could pick up her items and save her a trip. She informed me she was more than capable of doing so on her own and if she needed something, she'd let me know. I said that I know she's capable, but that I was just trying to be helpful and apologized if I came across as pushy.

When I got home I folded her laundry that was in the dryer and made dinner as well. When she arrived home she continued to avoid me and didn't talk with me. I told her dinner was ready, but she continued to go about her business while I ate alone at the dining room table. It wasn't until later when I left the room that she ate it.

After dinner, I approached her and told her that I got the impression that she didn't want to be around me tonight, so I would give her space, but wanted to let her know that I would be paying bills later this week. If she was interested in seeing the process, then I would be more than willing to show her. This is an area I have controlled for our entire marriage. An area she has often expressed interest in understanding.

She turned down my offer. From there things got a bit worse. I did my best to remain calm and respectful throughout the conversation that followed, but as always I approached the point of manipulation a few times and began to control the conversation. I did my best to stop when I felt myself reaching that point.

Long story short, she informed me that she doesn't like the way I've been acting lately (she is unaware that I am completing the dare). She feels like I'm being overly nice and tip toeing around her.

I asked if it hurt her to have me be nice for a change and she replied that everything hurts. Aside from being unhappy in our marriage she is unhappy at work and highly discouraged at the current job climate. She has applied for many jobs and hasn't been granted an interview. I told her that I feel as though she's hurt and since I'm the one that hurt her, she wants to get away from me. I said that I understand that she doesn't believe she can trust me to not hurt again, when in reality, I never will.

This where I felt as though I was manipulating the conversation in my favor and for that I am ashamed. I don't feel as though I was true to my promise to allow the Lord to take control. I was leading with my emotions and where did it get me? No where. Instead I made my wife cry which has always and will always crush me. Nothing makes me feel smaller than that.

She said she doesn't want me to continue to act the way I have been acting. She is afraid to be nice to me because she feels that every time she smiles at me I'll get the wrong impression. She said that she still wants to be friends and I replied that I still wanted to be her husband (letting my emotions lead again).

I apologized for tip toeing around her. She's right. I've been doing the dares, but in between I haven't known what to do with myself. She informed me that she hasn't found an apartment because she doesn't want to get tied to a year long lease.

It's been hard living in separate parts of the house and I haven't dealt well with the loneliness and isolation. My behavior in those times has led to an uncomfortable situation for my wife (the primary reason she wants to move out). I just long for conversation. I know that in those times I need to turn to Christ for support and let his love fill the void. He is always there to hear me.

I truly miss the time my wife and I spent together prior to our troubles and I'm ashamed that I took it for granted. I know the dares are to further strengthen my relationship with Christ, but some days it's extremely hard. I need to repeat "Be still, for I am God" in my head when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed, or when I'm anxious about not knowing what is going on in her life.

A few weeks ago, we received a card in the mail from a member of our church's women's prayer group. It's on the side of our refrigerator. I stopped and read it today. The member of the group told my wife to reach out to her if there is anything she requires prayer for. I felt like handing her the card, but stopped myself from doing so.

It's very hard to resist the urge to talk to her about Christ. I feel as though she has turned away from him and she needs to put her trust back into him, as I have (even if I'm not doing the best job of it lately).

I did tell her that I would pray for her tonight and told her that prayer has helped me significantly in recent weeks. But I feel that was manipulative as well. However, I will follow through with my promise and pray for him to work through her as he has through me.

Day 15

Kacee06 — Sun, 06 May 2012 02:55:21 GMT

where do i begin? my husband left in Octoberm we actually filed for divorce (long story but it was for financial reasons) the plan was we would try to work thins out and he would come back if we did. The first 4 months the only communication we had was if i called him. In February i went to hum and told him i wanted to start working on things? he told me he needed time, he wasnt ready. He admitted to talking to someone else but insistede they are just friends, but her picture is in his phone, theyve been seen shopping together, they text, she goes over etc. but he said "its not like we are sleeping" together. At the same time all he says he can give me is talking occasionally on the phone but he doesnt want to feel like he has to call me. Easter Sunday turned bad, i was upset and crying and he said why would he want to come back to this. I came home from my mothers house and climbed in the bede to cry, i turned the tv on and Firproof was on, i watched it and taped it and have watched it everyday since, i also began the love dare on him, not to much of response. I am always feeling like the ore i do the further away he gets. Not sure if i should continue. I know this is a walk with christ but i am hoping for reconciliation with my husband, today has been a very bad day for me and i just feel like quitting

Day 55 - Love is still Honorable

Jenn — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 03:54:57 GMT

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Day 55—Love is still Honorable

“Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.”

I have been working towards honoring my husband since the start of my journey—in my communication with him and communication to others about him. Some days are more challenging than others, but I am reminded that “love honors even when it’s rejected. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.”

It is a short entry tonight since I did not have any contact with him today. However, I did have a great conversation with my Mom about him, which has not taken place in a long time. I know she comes from a place of love and protection for me as her daughter, so this has all been very difficult for her to accept, but she is getting there and I thank God everyday for that.

Day 15 - Love is Honorable

Jenn — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 04:33:56 GMT

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Day 15—Love is Honorable

"Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.”

A passage of this chapter that really stuck with me—“But when your attempts at honor go unreciprocated you are to give honor just the same. That’s what love dares to do—to say, ‘Of all the relationships that I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I’m willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults—past and present—I still choose to love and honor you.’ That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that’s the beauty of honor.”

I thought about that passage a lot today. It would be so easy for me to do nothing due to the circumstances, but, since starting this Love Dare journey, I have yet to feel compelled to do nothing. To continue to show honor and respect towards my husband, even though separated, I will still do his laundry, cook enough food for two in case he happens to be home to eat, and ask if he needs any specific groceries for where he is staying when I do the weekly grocery shopping.

I am trying very hard to not get discouraged and remind myself this is STILL in God’s hands and ALWAYS will be to the end however it may end. I got a bad gut feeling today (my previous gut feelings have always turned into a hurtful ‘truth’). I think he was lying about where he stayed last night and I found a receipt for restaurant where he paid for two entrees. Of course, I think the worse—he was with the female coworker. I immediately ask God to shield me from those thoughts and feelings. I have had to ask for more patience. I am headed into week three of this 40 day journey, and so badly want my husband to read what I am reading, see the amazing work of God as I have been seeing it, and experience the joy of Him as I have been experiencing it. I continue to pray one day this will happen.

Tonight I was blasting this song that brought me to tears because of how hard its truth hit me—

Our God is Greater – Chris Tomlin

…Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?...

Day 15: Stillness

HKOakland — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 05:28:32 GMT

I tried to honor him today by doing little things for him today. The morning started out a little shaky cuz I could not keep my mouth shut and asked him some questions about the affair. I fought the urge to do that the rest of the day and when I got home. It serves no purpose but to make me feel worse and bring up more questions. I turned to GOD for strength and for him to please take these burdens and thoughts away. I felt I could honor him best by just being still. He keeps asking if I'm ok or if anything is wrong since I am so quiet and I simply respond no. He's used to me being more vocal and engaging. Like Sean said BE STILL and KNOW THAT I AM GOD. I'm trying to focus on that and let GOD do what he needs to do in my life. I don't want to get in the way anymore. I don't want to be miserable or sad anymore. I want to be happy and delight in GOD's love which I know is there for me.

Round 3 - Day 95

Melissa — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:28:34 GMT

I decided to send my husband an ecard for this dare since I am 4 hours away from him for the next couple of days. In the ecard I said, " You are my special gift from God and hold a place in my hear that no other can touch." This says that I hold you above all other human relationships and I honor you.

Day 15

Dave_71 — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:29:31 GMT

I'm beginning to enjoy this routine and the challenge of the dares. I wake up a little earlier than I used to. Pray, read a scripture, or lately a daily prayer from Beth Moore, and read the dare. Pray again that my actions honor God and thay He works through me to touch Melanie. Not so much for restoration, but to lift her up.... bless her day. I ask to be a vessel in which His works flow through me. I shower and pray again... my favorite place. I send Melanie a text greeting and go to work. I pray thoughout the morning, but don't dwell on the dares and God speaks to me at some point, letting me know what He wants me to do. This doesn't just happen automatically. I have to seek His will diligently by prayer, reading scripture, studying my assignments from the counselor, speaking with my prayer partner, going to church, listening to Christian Music or annointed pastors, visiting Rejoice Marriage Ministries Website, spending time with my wonderful daughter, ministering to my alcoholic friend, attending AA or Freelife recovery meetings, exercising and anything else I can do that pleases Him. In that process, I automatically begin shutting off the things that seperate me from God. I don't have much time to watch TV or read secular books, go out with friends, dwell on negative things. I'm starving the flesh-man and he is dying, but I'm feeding the Spirit-man and he is thriving! And this isn't a pat on my back because in February, I hit my knees a broken man... broken in every way, but Jesus embraced me, lovingly helped me to my feet and showed me the path He wanted me to take. And the great thing about that is He lights that path for me. I don't have to walk in darkness and fear. He sustains me. I don't have to do anything, and I've done nothing, but seek Him. He's done all of the rest. I can honestly say to everyone here that I have never been happier, more content, more blessed with joy unspeakable than I am right at this moment... and tomorrow it will be multiplied.

But not by my actions, but by God's grace.

Praise Him!!!

Now for day 15. This was easy... it was in the book, As soon as I read this, I felt prompted to send it. I prayed and God gave me a little something else to add. I sent this to Melanie via text:

"Of all the relationships I've had, I value your's the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. Of all my prayers, I pray for you the most. With all your faults, sins, mistakes and faults - past and present - I still choose to love and honor you".

Just as in Day 13, I must put actions to my words.

Day 15/talking

cwest — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 05:17:50 GMT

So my husband and I had dinner together and talked afterward. We had a good dinner. The way I showed him honor and respect was by the way I listened and talked. I let him talk most of the time and just asked questions. He talked about work mostly. I love to hear about the stuff he is working on. When we got back to our place, I let him talk about anything he wanted to and listened and took notes. I asked questions to clarify and further understand. My husband was civil this time and I did not feel the urge to defend myself. Most of the stuff he/we talked about was true and needs to be changed. I am thankful that he is communicating and opening up. Praise the LORD!

I know I am still not completely trusting God because I am still nervous about what my husband will decide to do. I do feel better now that my husband is willing to talk and he doesn't seem so angry. I continue to ask God for the strength to continue doing the dares, the courage to talk to my husband, peace about my situation, and understanding and wisdom. Through all this He has blessed me with an amazing family that is supporting me. I am truly blessed. His words are a blessing themselves. If I don't spend time in the Bible or hearing scripture I feel lost. Thank you Lord for your new mercies every morning.

dare 15

forever512 — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 01:31:21 GMT

It bums me out when I cannot do a dare. Today is one of those days. I prayed and thought and prayed & tried to think of creative ways to show honor, but I could not think of anything.

I have been feeling very mundane lately... just over tired I think, but it has me kinda grumpy. I have noticed though, that I can be grumpy but not let it take over me. I try not to let it affect the things I do or how I do them. I feel like I am really learning how to control my emotions instead of letting them control me. And I am in the habit now of thanking God for anything and/or everything... even in the worst of situations, I try to find a way to see it in a positive light.

Showing Honor

Serilium — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 20:02:54 GMT

I will also honor them and they will not be insignificant. (Jeremiah 30:19)

But when your attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That’s what love dares to do – to say, “Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I’m willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults – past and present – I will choose to love and honor you.” That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that’s the beauty of honor.

I love this part of the reading. I thought long and hard about this. This also brought back to me a part of our pre-marital mentoring sessions where there was an exercise about how its not good to view a relationship as 50-50. When a relationship is 50-50 you give back to the extent of what you receive. But that is not what Love is about. God loves us when we are not lovable. We are to love our spouse even when they are not lovable. We are to honor them and to show that they are set apart from all other human relationships. It is hard to honor and respect someone when they don't reciprocate. I believe that I have let some of my anger an humiliation get in the way of how I have honored my husband.

So for the honor dare, I asked his opinion on a couple of issues that presented themselves. (Its kinda funny how opportunities arise just when you need them YAY GOD!!!)

The first was related to my daughter. She was supposed to be staying with my parents this week but she has been extremely emotional and we ended up having to go and get her on the first night. We had set it up for her to stay with them so that we could save some money on day care, and so that she could spend quality time with her grandparents. The next day I took off work to stay with her to figure out what was going on, and that night she asked if she could go back to her grandparents. So I asked my husband what he thought. Because a couple of unexpected bills came up and we needed some quality time to ourselves he thought it was best to let her stay. So we took her back. I was giving honor to my husband by asking him to be a pro-active part of the decision making for my daughter even though he is not her biological father.

The second had to do with the unexpected bills. I have a lot of trouble sharing responsiblity on the bills with my husband. I had been handling the finances(with a LOT of help from God) for the last 7 years and for me to seek advice from my husband is hard. So I presented him with the nuts and bolts of the problem and asked him what he would do. We discussed it and laid out a game plan.

I'm trying to step back. I have to give my husband room to grow, and most importantly I have to give the reins over to God.

round 2/dare 15

forever512 — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 17:17:06 GMT

SInce round 1 I have come to try to do honorable things for my husband everyday. Last night we finfished the Christmas tree & he always does the lights... so I helped him with them- made sure they weren't tangled & helping him in tight spots, etc. Also, after the kids went to sleep my husband asked me if I wanted to watch the movie he put in with him... I was doing the dishes so I told him I'd be there as soon as I finished. I was there before the previews were over :) The movie was horrible & cheesey, but i stayed. He made it about halfway through and then got up to get his laptop. It crossed my mind that he was just asking me to watch it to be nice, but I figured, he has come a long way since even a week ago!

I realized this morning how these little changes in him are gifts from God to me. Instead of taking them for granted and wondering when more will happen, I just need to appreciate the little I am given at a time. I guess all this time I figured one day something big would happen or click in his mind and he'd come runnning back. I see the babysteps now & I am going to appreciate them. I don't know where they'll lead, but being lucky enough to show my love to my husband daily is a gift & I will not take this one for granted as I have so many other things in the past.

This Christmas time I am trying to spend more time with my kids baking cookies, decorating, making crafts etc. And while we do so, I try to explain to them that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birth. I try to talk to them about the less fortunate children out there and this weekend we will be donating some toys- with the boys participation this time. I want them to know how good it feels to give, even when you don't want to. They might be young tooo understand right now, but it's something that I would like them to understand in the future and it's something I want to begin teaching them now. We read a great book yesterday "Mr. Rabbit's WIsh". I teared up in the middle of the story. It was about an old rabbit who made the same selfless wish every year: peace on earth. My oldest son (5) acctually understood a lot about it.. so I know now's the time to start these traditions of giving.

Whats more, for the first time this Christmas season when someone asks me what do I want and I say nothing, I acctually mean it. There is nothing more to want when I have the Lord God watching over me.

Dare 15

ap2 — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 23:15:25 GMT

Well the situation that has come about has gotton really thick really quick. First off with this dare today I am going to fold her clothes and clean the house up to show her what we have is valuable to me. She told me earlier this morning that she was going to down to the town where this other guy lives. I am pretty sure that she went over to his house to see him. She left around 10 am and is still not back it is now a little after 5 pm.

Now the story has gotton rough. Just yesterday she tells me that she has found out that she is pregnant. I can confirm this I saw the test right after she took it. Then she tells me that the child could be this other guys and that it most likely is. There is a chance that the child could be mine but very slim chance at that. Where do I go from here? I'm so confused and mentally drained that I dont want to do anything. Please could anyone help?

dare 15

David — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 23:47:29 GMT

I have not spoken to my wife three days. I know she is at her moms and is ok. As for this dare I try to do these things anyway. I have always opened doors and so forth. Yesterday after prayer I felt I should contact a friend of mine that is very spiritual. It was great talking to him and he helped me feel a little more positive. Then last night as I looked for a movie as a gift for my wife I came across fire proof. I did buy it and watched it today. It humbled me in many ways and gave me some answers. I also received a call from my mother in law. She didn't give me much hope but also felt I shouldn't give up. Finally, I have prayed about where I should live and decided to move closer to her mom. I feel this way for many reasons, I shouldn't have been selfish in wanting her closer to my work. She is pregnant and wants to be near her mom and I need to support her.

Dare 15

AaronGJackson — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 02:55:20 GMT

She has been cheating on me. I think it's time to stop the dares and admit that I screwed up and things are beyond hope. After all, I can try as hard as I might, but if she's unwilling to try as well, there's not much that can be done. I think I'm going to stop the dares and stop wasting my time on her. There is no hope for this situation, because God cannot work if someone refuses to be worked on. He doesn't change the lives of the unwilling, and it's time to quit trying with her. That's how I'm feeling right now. It's horrible. It hurts worse than anything I have ever been through to date. I know that God will carry me through this, but I feel like I need to explode. Thanks for all of your help.

Dare 15

forever512 — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 23:43:14 GMT

So after a difficult night... the day went better. My husband slept on the couch for the first time in a LONG time last night. I just let him be. I went up to the kids room we watched some cartoons, came down ate some breakfast & I took them outside for some sidewalk chalk time. It was so peaceful and calm. Shortly afterwards my husbnad showed up out there and started talking to me about what he did the night before (just a little bit, but it's better than nothing), and about his work out routines, etc. It was all him initiating the conversations. I was kind and polite and even joked around a little bit with him. It was so nice. I mentioned I was going to take the kids to the park in a bit- but he didn't want to go. So I took the boys and my baby girl to the park, we ran around, played some ball, met new friends and came home over an hour later for lunch and then naps. While my kids napped, I cleaned out the garage for my husband. We moved to a smaller house a few months back and still ahve LOTS of boxes stored. SO I went through things, cleaned them up, rearranged things & now there is LOTS of space!

HE slept through a lot of the day since he didn't get in till 5AM last night...and we haven't talked much since the morning. I miss talking to him. I realize though that we're still working through a lot of things, so I will just continue to be patient and trust in the Lord. I was a bit disappointed that he slept on the couch last night, but I remembered that I have been told many times it will get worse before it gets better... so maybe this is him testing me more to start up an argument about where he is sleeping. But I refuse to give in.

Tomorrows dare is to pray for him. I have been doing that for a long time now & will continue to do so. I will ask him if he would like to come to mass with me and the kids though...I figure the more he is surrounded by God, the better.

Dare 15

Jaime — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 14:53:23 GMT

I will have to do this dare tomorrow as I will not see my husband again today as he is working the whole day. I am really stumped on this one, I am not sure what I can do. I read that some others would listen completely, and I found myself doing that last night when I asked about work. I really listened to the stories he was telling me and I also asked questions to show I was listening, normally I would not do this I would just listen and say nothing really. So I am sure he noticed that, because he had always said that I never listened to what he was saying or half way through he would just stop telling me the story because I wasn't paying attention. I will try to do that again listen fully if he tells me something... I will have to think of what else I could do though, this is a toughy!

Day 15

Polly — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 11:40:59 GMT

My biggest thing today was to listen, and not do it halfway. I had to work but he had the day off and he met me for lunch. I listened to him fully and let the food be a sideline instead of the main reason for being there together. It was nice to be together like that. When I got home he asked me if I wanted to go out with him and his friends, something he hasn't asked in a long time, so I went and we had a very good time. I can see him trying to reach out but not really knowing if I am going to bite his hand and he's being cautious too.

I know this journey is between myself and God. I think that this day of me showing honor has shown me something about my relationship that I was trying not to look at. I saw how my hunny is with other people, how he interacts with them, and how he treats me separately. It isn't that he holds me apart from his friends, but he sees me as more worthy; he has honor for me.