Honestly I am having a really hard time with the dares where I am supposed to do something above and beyond what I would normally do. I have always tried to do everything for my husband that I possible could. He works full time and I don't. I was in school taking classes but haven't had anything over the summer. I had been living apart from my husband from the end of March until the end of June. Now we are back in the same house (temporarily until I can find a place) but in separate bedrooms. The weird thing is that we still get along great. He says he likes being around me, likes talking to me, cares about me, and still tells me that he loves me. We just don't have any of the physical affection that goes into a marriage anymore.
I still try to do things for him even though he isn't expecting me to do anything. Right now, he doesn't think that the marriage will work, and quite frankly I don't even see any signs in him that he even wants to work on it. Plus he has been helping out a friend, who is a girl, that is in a fairly similar situation and he seems to be doing anything to help her, but not help his own marriage. I try to keep my anger, bitterness and hurt in check. But I'm realizing that it's coming out in this post.
One good thing that has come out of our separation is that I have come back to God. My husband is a believer and reads the bible and prays, but will not go to church with me or do any kind of counseling either. All I can do is work on myself and pray for God to work in him.
I did go to the store and find a card for him today. One of the things that he has said is that he thought I didn't make enough time for him, and he felt useless/worthless. He also feels like he has done nothing good for me. So I made sure to let him know in the card that he is NOT these things and let him know how much he has done for me. I feel like I have completed today's dare through this. Most of the time when I give him a card, he will read it and then be kind of awkward. Today after he read it, he wasn't that way. He was open and talking to me.
This is my second time doing the Love Dare, and I came to this forum to be able to share what I am going through and know that others are going through the same stressful situations. There is strength that comes in numbers, as well as encouragement.
Not sure how your round one went...but know that this is a journey between you and Christ. Your husband will just be used as a tool. You will be molded in ways you never thought possible. Pray on the dares each day to be done by His will. Nothing more. Leave the rest up to Christ.
Completely agree - there is strength in numbers and so much love and encouragement on the site.
In the appendix there is a section on leading the heart. Christ chose you for this journey for a reason. If you are getting along so well, start flirting with him, start opening up and taking steps. Pray before you do it. But do it it none the less.
Thanks. Round one started as me doing this to try to save my marriage, until about half way through I realized that was not the point. So I started again, doing it for me and my relationship with God. I do need to go back and re-read the leading your heart part of the index again. While day 15 seemed to go well, day 16 (today) has been a disaster. Found things out that have really hurt me.
In those moments there is a chance Christ will use things like that to humble you. I assure you these are blessings that you do not see yet.