Collaborate without boundaries

Re: lost

lost

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  • My husband and I separated in February of this year. It wasn't mutual. I was sure I was done. I couldn't change him and he wasn't what I needed... I had fallen out of love with him and wanted a divorce. He tried for many months (up until June) to get me back. I didn't want to have anything to do with him. We have a son together and so we meet halfway (about an hour drive) twice a week to exchange our son. Early on in July I started really praying. I prayed for God to bring the person I was supposed to be with in my life. He said "I already have". I was in complete denial. My husband won't change. I have been with him for 6 years and he's always been the same! Gods reply was " trust in me. Change in me. Grow in me and leave him to me.' I had been so focused on trying to change my husband that I put all the blame on him. I started noticing a change in myself especially towards my husband. I wanted to talk to hun every night. I couldn't wait to see him the twice a week I got to see him. I asked him how his day was and really listened and was eager to learn more about him. I told him I wanted to work on us... That I wanted my family back. He told me no... That he was seeing someone. I was CRUSHED. I started skiing the love dare and it has been so so hard especially knowing that he is with someone else. It's hard to do many of the dares since he lives 2 hours away. For day 3 I sent him roses at work and he gave them away and didn't mention them to me. For day 10 I sent him pizza to his work with a <3 you inside the box. He told me that it was having the opposite effect than what I wanted. He said it was making himn really uncomfortable.  I'm on day 14 now and it's becoming harder. I'm trying to give it up to the Lord and trust him because he knows what he's doing. I just want my family back. 

  • Sorry about all the typos

  • Keep doing the dares.  Don't worry about his reaction right now.  Grow in Christ.   It gets worse before it gets better.   Put Christ above your husband.   Don't stop doing the dares.   You can do this with Gods help!

  • And I think God gave you some great advice!   Listen to Him and do as your Father in heaven says.  

  • So you followed your heart and you were deceived.... Typical worldly thing.

    Read in the appendix about leading your heart. Very important.

    And your husbands response to your dares is actually conviction.

  • Thank you guys so much. On day 17 now and I know that I have completely destroyed his trust and have wounded him maybe beyond repair. I'm not quite sure how I should approach this dare... I've been praying for God to show me.

    Sean... It gives me comfort to know that it's conviction he's feeling rather than disgust or anger.

  • For now do the dares and let Christ do the repair work.  Nothing for Him is beyond repair.  

  • I'm on day 17 and we Skype every night to day goodnight to our son.I asked hun if he was alright and if he was going through anything that he wanted to talk about. He told nee that he got to take a nap today which was something he has wanted to do and he also let all his workers go home an hour early. I asked him over for dinner tomorrow night thinking of tomorrow's dare. He told me no... That he didn't want to. He said that he loves me with all his heart but he refuses to be hurt again and that every time he thinks about gong back tome  he thinks about how I crushed him and that while he doesn't think it's impossible that we don't get back together that it's highly unlikely and improbable. That maybe in a year or two then maybe but not now... That if we got back together now then it would end in failure. He doesn't trust me at all and doesn't think he could ever trust me again. I cried and told him that for the first time in my life I was fighting for something. He told me that he was just starting to be happy again and starting to fell like a man again and that all thethings  I'm doing is actually pushing him away. He's still with his girlfriend and I'm completely broken...

  • You were always broken... And Christ led you in ways to find Him so that you can be fixed again.

    Worry about building your walk with Christ, everything else will follow.

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