When I returned home from work I cleaned up the kitchen, because she had made a very nice fajita dinner. I had originally planned to work out when I got home but I postponed it to spend more time with my wife. This Dare was kind of tricky for me because later on Day 13, after we had what I thought was a wonderful weekend together, I had grabbed her hand before she went to sleep and looked into her eyes and thanked her an awesome weekend and expressed how much I enjoyed just being with her. She replied, “I need my space.” This caught me completely off guard. Her I thought we were doing fine and wham the brick wall. Anyway since she told me she needed some space, even though I stayed around I did several things around the house she had been wanting me to do. Later in he evening I went into her office and sat down with her as she browsed “Craig’s List” for cars. After we went into our room where we watched her programs, ‘The Food Channel” and then a Showtime movie before we got ready to go to sleep. We did a lot of laughing and I had scooted close to her but didn’t try to cuddle with her or anything. I gave her the space and when it came time to lights out I didn’t try to kiss her good night, I just told her I loved her and said good night. I am really confused right now. She is being very pleasant , but yet distant. I really don’t want to say anything that will upset her. It seems when ever I try to say something to her, what I wanted to say is not what comes out or heard. I hardly slept at all last night. I kept having awful dreams, I tried to stay in the appreciation room but every time I started falling a sleep I found myself thinking of other things. I really don’t know where we stand. Lately she has been getting the house fixed up, but I start thinking there is an alternative motive. I may just be second guessing myself. I have grown closer to God over these past few weeks, I am still very scared.
The other day she seen me righting in my book and asked me what I was doing and I told her I was keeping a daily journal. Should I have told her? I feel bad for not telling her about "The Love Dare" because it has definitely changed the way I see things in my life and brought me closer to God once again. I tell all my friends about the movie and the book, but yet I'm afraid to tell her. What's wrong with me. Even close friends of mine have noticed some of the changes in me.
I need your prayer more than ever now. I pray every morning before
when I get up and before I go to bed. I even find myself praying
during the middle of the day now for strength, guidance on how to be a
better Christian and a better witness to those around me.
Stan, This journey is for you to take the time with God. To allow him to teach you a number of things, and one of the most important of them is that you need to hand those problems over to him completely. TRUST him. The more scared you are the less you Trust him. Quit trying to manipulate the situation with your wife (moving closer while watching tv), that is you trying to control the situation. And when you were in control before it didn't work. Allow God to work with her.
No you should not tell her about the dare. This is your journey. Take that time to focus on the Lord and learn with the tools he put in your hands. And if she knows and starts to find out what it is. She will then have expectations. And none of it to her will be genuine.
It is great to see that you are praying more. But is it only when things are bad? Praise should also be on your mind... Always. Believe it or not, most of the things you are worried about will turn out to be true blessings. Take some time look at my journals. I have written about alot of this.
Sean, Thanks and yes I pray all the time not only during troubled times. I give him thanks for all the good he has done in my life too. I will check out your journal entries. Thanks again.
Stan, your journals are great. The journey is difficult but so worth it. I'll be praying for you.
I totally know where you are coming from. My wife and I have been talking more, and I have been growing SO MUCH as a man not driven by physical lust, but by the opportunity to serve my wife. Right now, we are basically roommates and I have been "babysitting" our kids while she goes out on the town either with her boyfriend or her circle of girlfriends. I have found out that Day 13 is way to soon to be pushing the envelope. The walk is designed for us as men to develop certain things and make them "habits" before we attempt to rekindle physical nature of our marriages. I struggle with this daily myself, as my wife is VERY physically attractive, but that is what has led to her straying and she enjoys attention from other men.
Stay in prayer and in God's word. Make sure you are feeding that spirit man daily and asking for God's help all the time. Just "love her where she is at now" and pray God shows her that she needs him and you.
Jeremy, remember you need to trust Christ in each dare. No matter what it is. You need to try to push the envelope and ask what the dare says. If she rejects it, then and only then do it on your own.
There will be a time that it says to confess everything. Will you hold back anything? Thinking "if she knows this, she will never come back"? I went through that as well. But I needed to get right with the Lord, before my marriage could work. And I confessed things that were 15 years prior, but I blessed more than you could imagine. These dares are ways to teach you to trust Christ. Remember you are not in control anymore He is. And it is time to trust Him 100%.,
Oh I agree, I was stating that we shouldn't try to "push things physically" was what I was referring to. By all means, we should follow this walk to the "T" no matter how hard.
It is hard sometimes to Trust the Lord and realize that we must not continue to control the situation. We need to give it up to Him.