I think I screwed up royally. Idk. Dh and I talked tonight. It wasn't great but I did get some feedback on me. More on the reasons why he left. He is still not coming home. Told me the reasons y he hasn't files yet. I think I could see god and the devil pulling at his strings during the conversation. Reiterated on how I don't expect anything but would like a second chance. He said hypothetically if he maybe maybe can back that I would kiss his aas so he doesn't leave again. I asked if I was kissing his ass now and he said yea. I felt the need to tell him about the dare.
First he does not have a clue of the spiritual journey you are on, nor will he understand it.
The bigger part he does not understand is that as you grow with Christ in this journey, Christ will also work on him through conviction. It is your testimony that Christ will need to show through.
So what he thinks is butt kissing now, will not be understood in that way in time.
Sean thank you so much.
I felt the need to apologize to a lot of people today. People that I care deeply about that I have hurt throughout the years. I am ashamed of my behaviour.
I know that I feel Christ with me and the feeling grows stronger each day. I just do not yet understand the big picture.
My DH is a non-believer these days so I know that that makes it difficult.
I will have to pray on this dare as I will not be seeing him today....
Let me clarify...I completed Day 13......Day 14 I will have to pray on.....
Do not be concerned with him right now. Do your dares but be seeking Christs molding within you.
Your concerns about him believing will come later. Through testimony and Christ that can change.