Day 53—Love still Fights Fair
“Talk with your spouse about establishing
healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then
write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to
abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.”
was not an opportunity to talk to my husband about establishing healthy rules
of engagement, but in the future I believe there will be. Last round I wrote
out my personal rules to ‘fight’ by and have stuck to them since and will stick
to them going forward.
did, however, have some contact with my husband. I was definitely feeling
emotionally off today. I am bound to have them every once in awhile and
grateful tomorrow is a new day.
I came home from work to the surprise of my lawn being mowed. I had an idea of
who it might be—my Dad or one of my neighbors…wishful thinking was that it was
my husband. I found out it was not my Dad since he worked. I was thinking about
texting my husband to ask him, but felt this overwhelming feeling not to.
forward to this afternoon—I then felt okay while I was at work to text him real
quick letting him know I noticed the lawn was mowed and asked if he did it. His
response, “No I got in a crash at work. It was probably Alex (our neighbor).”
To say the least, I was surprised. I asked about the crash. Apparently last
night (mind you this is when I wanted to text him and felt God telling me not
to) he was pulling someone over and another car obviously did not see his
flashing lights and ended up hitting him. Thankfully he was okay—just a bit
sore. He was going to urgent care today and has another doctor’s visit tomorrow.
I let him know that I was here for him if he needed anything. He of course said
he was fine and didn’t need anything. It is so hard to not be there with him
when something like this happens and him not wanting me to be there.
also got an email out of the blue from my neighbor—“Just checking on how you
are doing. I know life is hard and things are not happy. I told [your husband]
that I would take care of the yard just to let you know. I would have told you
but I haven't seen you forever. Come out and say hi no one down here is mad or
is judging you. So smile and have a good day.”
wasn’t sure what to think about this. I would be stupid to think the neighbors
did not see the moving truck when my husband moved out, but I did not realize that
he actually talked to them…and what about? Why would they be mad or judge me?
It was just weird. I had no qualms with how I responded though—“I had a feeling
it was you that mowed the lawn. THANK YOU! I truly appreciate it. I am actually
doing really well. I am NOT giving up on our marriage. My faith is stronger than
I've ever experienced in my life, so I look forward to what God has in store. Again
thank you for the support.” I will use whatever door Christ has open for me to
show His work in all this. I don’t care who it is.
night ended with my Women’s Bible Study dinner. It was just a time of getting
together and fellowship as a wrap up of this session. I went in knowing, based
on what God laid on my heart a few days ago, that this was my last time with
these women, so I was able to have closure with that. They don’t know yet, but
at least I was mentally and emotionally prepared for it.
went to prayer a lot today. Was feeling a lot more weak than normal, but I know
God still hears me, is still working, and still carrying me through. Praise
Continue to pray for Gods will in His life. And that your testimony is coming through. Chances are that his life will spin out of control and your testimony will need to be the thing he trusts in.