Re: This is getting so difficult

So I have gotten the book again,and been trying to stick to the dares as much as possible, but this last two have been really hard to do. We dont fight fair at all. He has to win by either walking away or ignoring me. I have kept quiet for so long that it has started eatin at me. I pray for peace in my spirit but man has it been a challenge. Now I am faced with two challenges. He wants to me to do two things which will effect me degativelly. He wants me to let my nanny go, so that he can save money. The problem here is that I am overwhelmed with work as it is, now once again I have to take care of everything in the house plus my photography, the kids and a full time job. I am so tired all the time and he does not life a finger to help. The other thing that gets me is that we are sharing a PC which we both need for side jobs. He refuses to give me space to use it. I offered a solution by getting a PC at home so I can work, he then took that PC to upgrade and then took off the software I use to edit my pictures. I have to get these pics to clients and he just does not care. I have no means to get the software myself and all my money goes to the food in the house and this laptop I bought him as a gift that he wont let me use. I am start between a rock and a hard place. Am I being selfish? It seems like he is trying to sabotage my photography. I love doing it and it is the first thing in a long time I have really found joy in doing. I dont know what to do. I was not as patient as I should have been this weekend, because I am so stressed about a sick baby, and the work I need to get out. He just slept the whole weekend. I have been sleeping at 3am in the morning and still get up at 5 for my job, come home, take care of the kids and supper, and he comes home when they are in bed and just relaxes while I serve him and try to not be selfish. I just want to cry all the time because I am soo exhausted!!

I am sure there is some selfishness in there... However, if you are getting no help from him then I would not remove the nanny. But on the other hand. You are saying you do everything and you still choose to do your side work with Photography.

I think the most important thing is where can you put margin in your life for Christ? For family?

I try to put aside a lot of time for the kids, family etc. So I dont do shoots as often as I would like. But when I do do shoots, its like he does not want me to complete my jobs. I have gotten no support from him at all, and at this point am really not interested in getting it. I just wish he would just let me do what I need to do without getting in my way. I give him everything I have, but he seems to go out of his way to try and prevent me from doing the things I need to be doing.

In my reply I mentioned putting margin in your life for Christ and family. Then you responded without any mention of Christ, but you did mention family.... Then I read this - I just wish he would just let me do what I need to do without getting in my way. I give him everything I have, but he seems to go out of his way to try and prevent me from doing the things I need to be doing.

Now think of Christ saying - I just wish she would just let me do what I need to do without getting in my way. I give her everything I have, but she seems to go out of her way to try and prevent me from doing the things I need to be doing.

Leave those concerns with Christ. Focus on the journey with Christ.