Well today was our 5th year anniversary but we didn't see or talk. I had been dreading over today imagining how painful it would be BUT by God's grace I made it through without much anxiety, especially after the incident yesterday. I praise the Lord for blessing me with a peaceful day.
Through prayers and self introspection the last several days I came to realize how difficult this journey has becoming and I know this is probably just the beginning. God has opened my eyes so wide to see my hidden sins. My biggest challenge is still having my wife as first so everything she does drives me away from Him, and that I must deal with myself.
I wrote down the list of "fighting rules" and sent an email to her so today's dare is complete. I was also watching youtube on the song from the movie "Love is not a fight" ... but it's something worth fighting for. I was inspired by its lyrics.
Do you see the blessing in the difficult part of the journey? That is what will humble you. This is where you need to quit fighting it with your pride, and just give it to Christ. This is where the game changes. When you are able to get rid of that, then you are open to being molded. To being more Christ-like.
He has opened your eyes. Now take advantage of that. How can your eyes being open make you not make the same mistakes. How has opening your eyes bring you closer to Christ? Follow His example in loving you, by blessing others!
It is not that you need to deal with yourself. You need to get right with Christ. And deal with your relationship with Him. You need to confess those sins to him, Repent, then he will forgive you.