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Not much to disagree on...

Not much to disagree on...

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  • Throughout our 24 years of marriage, my wife and I really didn't have many disagreements.  Today there seems to be a couple of areas.  These arose from her continuous adulterous relationship with the other guy.  Number one, she has now separated her money from my money.  No longer is it "our" money.  Secondly, she appears set on us getting divorced.  Based on my scripture readings, the dares AND this forum, I feel strongly that this is NOT what God wants and that we can still have a successful marriage.  This one is totally up to God.  I do feel I can "give in" on the separation of money and not let that be an area on tension between us.  Right now I am focusing on what I need to do to be right with God and trusting that He will take care of my wife. 

  • That is the only way. Right now there is nothing you can do. Yu are not God, so anything you do will be a manipulation and will more than likely backfire on you and justify everything she is doing.

    Take the journey of the dare. Learn Chirsts will for you and learn to love as He intended it. It is the only way to overcome her focus now.

  • Sean, this journey, now Day 14, is really tough.  Today's dare of giving up something I enjoy to do something Sue enjoys, is pretty tough when she doesn't want to be around me.  Today I am going to the farm where she works (she does tours for kids) and just hang out with her.  We'll see how it goes.  I never hang out at the farm with her. It's always been "her thing".  Plus, there's a good chance that her other guy friend will be there.  Should be real interesting.  Trying to let go and let God...Praying I don't do anything stupid...

  • Well, I went to hang out with my wife at the farm yesterday.  Turns out she wasn't there.  I tried to contact her a few times regarding logostics for the kids.  No response.  This is just breaking my heart.  Our family has been totally devestated by this other guy.  My wife seems to not care at all about the feelings of the kids and I.  One of the areas of disagreement for us is divorce.  Even though I have biblical grounds for I divorce, its not what I want.  And I'm having a real difficult time believing that this is what God wants.  I did chat with her on the phone last nite and told her I would not be filing for divorce.  I told her my reasons and told her if this is what she wants, she can file and I will sign the papers.  I'm trying to follow what God wants.  I really just need to let go and let God...

  • You need to do more than let go and let God. You need to take advantage of this journey and learn Gods true meaning of what love is. Without that you can never change your mindset of what the world taught you love was.

    Just as an example, I like to look at the worlds love. Infatuation.... Without Christ (who is love) you cannot love.

    Do not fear these dares. They are to mold you more in Chirsts image, they are to humble you, they are to show you what is lacking in your life in Christ.

    Some dares will be fine, others will be a challenge for you to leave the beliefs the world has given you and to completely trust Christ without you manipulating the dares as you see fit.

    Read my journals and see what you get out of them.

  • So Sean...just for clarification...I receive a daily devotional for couples.  Its always been my practice to email these to my wife.  Sometimes they lead to good conversation.  But the way I'm reading these posts, it almost seems that is a way of manipulation too.  Your thoughts?

  • It certainly can be. Think about your intent by doing it. Are you hoping that it changes her or that she will realize wrongs? Then your intent is misplaced. You are still controlling the situation doing what you think will work. That is not trusting Christ.

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