I need to confess that I did manipulate the dare abit.
On the way from church, he asked me about the fitness store and I told him that it was further up the street and pointed it out to him when we got close enough.
I said, oh one day we should go there.
He said yes, when?
That was the moment of manipulation!
I knew that he was tired from his night out last night and getting to church, I knew that all he wanted to do was go home and sleep.
But , i thought, well if you have the strength to go to work , go out for beer and sleep at a freinds house rather than come home, you wont be tired enough for us to get home, change from our church clothes, eat lunch and come back out to the store.
Honestly, when he messes up, I know he is like puddy in my hands and I can make him do anythingh ( well almost)
I even thought that he only came to church to please me but then,there have been times when he would just say no, he was not comming to church and that woudl be it!
I am slefish, I manipulated him to come out cause I was mad that he did not come home and that he had the nerve to be floating like a butterfly becuase I had not tuned him out!
oh me me me me me its all about me! You know what? I need help!
My love is so conditional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At let you are starting to see it. And here is the funny part, he sees it more than you do. You manipulate him and control everything around you.
Christ is trying to humble you into allowing Him to take over but you just go back to taking over...
Read in the appendix about leading the heart. You will see how you do that daily. Step back, commit to prayer a few times a day. Seek Chirsts guidance and love in you..
I just feel sick right now to be honest.
Because you are still having expectations and trusting in this world. Trust in Christ and know that He will never let you down.