There hasn't been much arguing around our household for a while now. Sometimes it's becasue we don't talk much- other times because I give in. Usually it's just my husband ranting or complaining about one thing or anoother- there's no clean dishes (they're in the dishwasher), why are there toys all over the floor (the kids are playing), etc. I've grown accostomed to all this ove the past several months & choose not to start arguments over his grumpiness. It won't lead us anywhere & it's just his anger talking anyway...
Overall the day was fairly uneventful. On the positive side though- my husband did eat dinner with us at the table today... He has been a little talkative again, talking about how he likes this or that about his nutrition plan, asking me for advice on the best way to steam veggies, etc...nothing big, but more than usual. I'm at that point hough that I don't read into it, I just politely respond and go about my business. I take time to pray for him whenever I can & I thank God for everything He has blessed me with- even this hard time we are in right now. I see how this year + of what was heartache for me was essential to bringing me back to the Lord and to give me perspective on our marriage and unconditional love. I am very fortunate to have this point of view, because I think back and realize that I could have easily been one of those people that just throw in the towel. I am so very, very blessed. Every day is such a great blessing for me :)
I feel like this second time around the dares I am seeing them from a different perspective. I started the dares in round 1 and for the longest time they were to try to win my husband back...I see them from a new perspective now. I see them as God asking me to do them for Him. I am here to serve the Lord & I pray that His love shines through me in all I do. It brings me happiness to know that.
This has nothing to do with the dare, but I just wanted to mention it...at my reunion a few days ago this guy I had the biggest crush on all through high school mentioned how much I had changed. We have kind of kept in touch throughout the years because we were always friends, but I haven't seen him since graduation. He told me I had something really great & different about me. I didn't think much of it because I figured of course I have changed in 10 years! On one hand I was flattered, on the other I am starting to wonder if I should limit the little contact we have. I don't know why I felt like this was something I needed to mention... I guess I feel a little guilty for being noticed & it wasn't by my husband.
I was just uploading some pictures from
Thanksgiving onto my Facebook page & BAM! A notification that my husband is now friends with the mother of the woman he had the affair with flashes in front of me. I promise I'm not looking for them!! These notifications are just coming up! So I was a bit upset, mostly jealous...but I prayed & asked the Lord to fill my husband as well as this woman & her family with His love. I know I can't do anything about it & so I'm leaving it to Christ. It doesn't feel good finding this stuff out, but I feel comforted & at peace. I trust the Lord in all thing :)
There is nothing to feel guilty about with the high school friend. Unless you are taking that as more than what it should be. And if you are, then you must cut it off before it goes anywhere.
As for your husbands facebook. You should talk to him about it. Not confront him. But in a way that is loving, nice and kind. If you turn a blind eye to things, then they will proceed. If you talk to him about it, he may be hostile, but when you are nice, and of Christ, then your point will get across.
Well I talked to him about it- surprisingly he wasn't very hostile. Basically I told him that I noticed he was facebook friends with the womans mom & sister. He didn't deny it & said so? He got a little defensive & said "what now I can't be friends with them? I used to be real good friends with the whole family a long time ago- they're good people" (the woman he had the affair with was an ex girlfriend from high school) he went on to say that it shouldn't matter who he is friends with anyway anymore (meaning that b/c he doesn't love me he can see/talk to whomever he wants). I told him it does bother me. He assured me there was nothing going on between him and the ex- in fact once her family became friends with him, the woman defriended her family so that she would have no contact with my husband. So my husband, the good man he is, told me he sent them e mails last nite telling them to take him off their friends so that they can stay in touch with their sister/ daughter. But he also confirmed that he was still talking/ texting with her sister.
I feel like God is really listenig/ helping me here. I Said my piece about it bothering me & that's really all I could do. But the Lord heard my prayers & in one way or another is limiting contact with them as well as with the ex. So though I know he is visiting the family sometimes & still talking to them, I know I can't stop him. God's working in our lives right now & I'm going to let Him do what He needs to. I am glad we talked though because my wandering thoughts could have gotten the best of me. It's so amazing how God finds ways to tell you He's at work :)
He is amazing. And He will never give you more than you can handle... that is why trusting Him is so important.
What stuck out to me for Day 12 was letting the other win unless it is something that is against morals and obedience to God. My fiance is always on webcams watching girls. I told him that it hurts my feelings that he desires them more than me. I pray for God to help him turn from this sin, but I don't know if God wants me to say or do anything else about this....I don't want to turn a "blind" eye. I know I am allowing the sin to hurt me and I have to stop...turn it completely over to God so I am not so frustrated...I want to do that, but I feel like I don't know how..
That is a tough situation. Especially being some what new in the journey. But look at it like this. The dare is a journey between you and Christ. Not you and your fiancee. Yes, you started this for a selfish reason. However, if you are able to see this for what it really is, then you take comfort in knowing that as you grow with Christ, He will work on your fiancee.
Christ will forgive him for these deeds, and so will you. But in this time, express your concern. But also, understand you are growing with Christ, and you need to leave this problem to Him at this time. Follow your dares and continue the journey. It will be your testimony that will have your fiancee desire what you have.... Christ.
Let Christ work on him. Worry more about your journey right now. I have written a number of journals that may help you understand more about the journey if you want to read them.
I would like to read the journals. Thank you.
Do you know how to get to them on this site? Click my name and then click journals.