Collaborate without boundaries

Day 12

Day 12

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  • Had an interesting day today

    First I had a difficult converstion with my wife. She posted on her facebook that she seen this coming but she hoped that it never did, also that she didnt care just doesn't want to be a part of it. I read this and thought to my self o man she is talking about me showing the appendix in the love dare yesterday. I'll admit that was wrong of me to do. I told her that I had read it and if she wanted to talk about it. She said not really and I said ok and let her know that I was here if she wanted to. She starts telling me about 5 minutes later. First she asks what I would feel like if she got with this guy who seems to have caught her eye. I really didn't know what to say, I told her that I would be sad. She asked if I would be mad. I have been working on anger this whole time and I said no just really sad. So I ask if that was what that posting was about, she said kinda but not really. Then she gets into the details of the story. She tells me that her and this guy have been talking alot here the past two weeks since they met and that he told her that he might have some feelings for her. She then says she is confused and doen't know what to do. She knows what she wants in a relationship but doesn't know if she wants it right know. She asked what I thought and I said that it was a thought situation for everyone involved, because she knows that I still love her and she has some feelings for this guy and he might have some feelings for her. She said that one of her sisters friends said that she has feelings for this guy and that she didnt know what she felt. She has been tellings everyone that this other guy is not the reason for wanting to separate and that what ever happens between them happens. She then says that everyone thinks that this other guy is the reason for wanting to separate but he just opened her eyes to see that someone is willing to give her their time in the day. I then told her that I still loved her and that I wasn't perfect she wasn't perfect and nobody is perfect. I make mistakes she makes mistakes and everyone makes mistakes. I'm imperfect she is imperfect and noone is perfect. I told her that I loved her for this imperfect person. She was about to cry at this time so we stopped talking.

    So on to todays dare. We had a little disagreement today about the driving situation. She wanted to stay at her sisters house tonight which I was fine with. Anyway both our cars have something wrong with them and we are borrowing her sisters car at the moment. I was wanting a ride to school in the morning and didn't want to drive either of our cars to school because of the problems with them. She thinks that my car will do fine but I dont want it to mess up even further and have a bigger situation on our hands than what it needs to be. I gave into her side of this disagreement and will be driving my car to school in the morning. I did the dare and told her I wanted her preference in the matter. She just said ok. Not much response at. I pray that my car make it ok tomorrow and that her and our child make it back ok. I also pray that the Lord teach me something from all this.

    I do have a few last questions if anyone could chime in I would be thankful. Should I only talk to her while I'm doing the dares and not much if I'm not doing a dare? I ask this because we live together still and only have one car to use right now so I feel the strong urge to talk to her all time. Also should I let her know that I'm doing the Love Dare? She doen't know that I showed her the appendix to the Love Dare yesterday as she passed it off and said that she would read it later.

    God Bless

    ap2

  • Do not let her know you are doing the dare. There are many reasons for this. My suggestion is that during this dare, take the time to focus on growing with Christ. Which means that to do your dares will take comminication with her, but I would not elect much more than that.

    Allow her to see you changes as Christ molds you. That is the testimony that will allow Christ to work on her. Remember, Christ will work on her as He molds you. But also a warning. As she sees those changes and Christ works on her, things will get a little worse. She will not know how to react to this change and the feelings Christ will put within her. And it will be something she reacts negatively to. But this is a big part of your journey. This is where you need to be humble and work through it. Be patient, be kind, be loving.....

    As for the other guy. It is your job to protect your marriage. And when she brings that up, she may be trying to get a reaction out of you. But at the same time you need to make it clear that following her heart is not a good thing. That by doing so, there are consequences to her actions. Lust is a desire for things forbidden. Not in your eyes, but in Gods eyes. Which leads to adultery in this kind of situation. Which is a sin against Christ.

    Anyway, focus on your journey. Grow with Christ and He will carry you through.

  • Sean

    When you say its my job to protect my marriage I'm not really sure what you mean by that do care to explain a little further? Also you say that I should make it clear that following her heart is not a good thing and that lust would lead to adultry in this situation, how should I start that conversation?

    Thanks for the insight once agian. I will be prepared for the negative reaction and counter that with a patientce, kindness, and love.

  • When she asked you if you would be mad about this other guy, be more clear. You would not only be sad, you would be angry and jealous. And rightfully so. Justifiably as well. But that leads into following her heart.

    If she is to follow her heart, she will not consider the consequences. Adultery is not only against you, it is also a commandment that she will break in Gods eyes as well.

    She will find justification in her mind. But from the beginning it was not so.... That quote from the Bible is that she is still married. And no matter what satan does to allow her to convince herself, it will still be an abomination unto the Lord.

    You need to focus really hard on your dares. Open your mind to listen to what Christ is tell you. Look how He is trying to mold you. Allow Him to work in her life and you dont interfere.

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