Well I've been wrecking my brain all day how I could complete this dare. Cause there really aren't that many bones of contention between us, sounds stupid I know. Why are we getting a divorce then? I'm wondering the same thing today.
I finally realized I had already given in on one of his points, namely not calling him sweetheart and love anymore. So I already did the dare, when I texted him this afternoon.
Been thinking all day though, what we used to argue about. We never did argue much till last year. And last year was all about getting our own feelings across, and seeing I'm the one who talks about her feelings very easily, all he heard was how much he was hurting me. I didn't realise then that I was actually the one who was hurting me by distrusting him and looking at everything very negatively. Most importantly by not putting my trust in God.
I am greatfull to God for putting me on this road, cause it brings a lot of healing even though sometimes it's really hard to look at yourself honestly. I seem to feel the need very often to think, well what my husband did was way worse than what I did. But that is not for me to judge, it's for God and that's were I need to leave it. God is working in me and I know he's working in my husband. I've discovered a song on youtube by the Casting Crowns called Prayer for a friend. I listen to that song about three times a day and pray for my husband. Cause I don't seem to have the words he needs to hear, but I know God has them and I know God wants him to hear them.
Well on to dare 13, can't wait.
Again, this is a journey about you and Christ. This journey is more about getting right with him. And your actions and love, will transfer to everyone around you especially your husband. And the wrongs that you still think about that he did, that were worse than what you did.... You need to stop comparing and start forgiving. And leave it with Christ.
Thanks again Sean.
I know you're right. And I want to leave it all to God, because in my heart I also know that you can't compare. I just want to become a better person and I want to do this with God's help. Today in church our minister preached about believing being a marathon, and how you sometimes seem to start running slower. But if we look to God we will get a new drive to continue running. It's a marathon in which everybody can be a winner and only when you quite do you loose. I will keep running this race, just like in the song from Fireproof. I found out today that during my time away my husband didn't attent church ones. This saddens me, because he used to be the one who went to church regularly. I prayed for him, that God would send the Holy Spirit back in his heart. I want the best for my husband, even if that would mean us not being together anymore.
God will work on your husband. Have no worry there. Focus on your journey, because you will be a testimony to him.