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Day 12: On Winning

Day 12: On Winning

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  • We are preparing to move today.  As the conflict between us has lessened drastically, there are few areas we actively disagree in.  The biggest one being she no longer wants to be married and I still want to find a way to make this work.  But since that is not a topic I am pushing at this pint its not something I can or will address at this time. 

    Instead I am being a cooperative as I can during today's moving process.  I am letting her puck how and when we do things.  Its been good so far.  She dis make a pointed comment today that hurt.  I made a comment about the problems with a good skipping rock it that you can only skip it once.  She said its like that with life. You had better appreciate things while you have them in your hand.  It hurt.  But I didn't respond.  It was like she was pointing out that I had my chance with her. 

    For the duration of the day I made sure she was drinking water and handled dinner.  I was patient and calm and kind.  Didn't keep it from hurting.  It was a long day and separating our stuff hurt.  But at the end of the day I rubbed her back and everyone went to bed.  Tomorrow is D-Day and I am exhausted, discouraged and afraid.  But I am committed to the course I have chosen.

    I don't know if any of what I am doing is being noticed or making a difference.  I know if any of what I am doing is being noticed or simply seen as the last ditch attempt by a desperate man.  Its hard to keep this up with no reward.  Though when we were at N.'s talent show K placed her hand on my back.  It was the first physical interaction she has initiated in a while. 

    So this day has ended as many of the others have.  Mixed with good and bad with no substantial movement.  .  I am growing weary of this roller coaster.  Tomorrow will be a tough day.  Its the one I've been dreading.

  • Seeker, I am sure she has no chance but to notice. At first she is going to think of it as a last ditch effort. However, keep on the journey, because the more she tries to get a reaction out of you and the more you do not give it, she will start to really think. The more she tries and puts out the comments that hurt, is the most humbling you can be. And trust the Lord, he will make her notice.

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