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Re: Day 12/ Listening

Day 12/ Listening

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  • So my husband has given me the silent treatment for a long time. He does not live at home, so he has completely deserted his responsibilities. Even when I try to contact him with trying to work on things, he refuses. Well, last Tuesday he actually responded to a request of mine for resume paper. We talked briefly and it was more of everything was my fault. He said I don't listen, which I do. The time we talked before I let him start the conversation, but he just looked at me for 2 solid minutes....so I talked.  My father talked to him on Thursday and was more of an encouraging and a cheerleader rather than being harsh. I did not ask my father to talk to him. It seemed to go alright, but my husband would not commit to a counselor because they don't know him. Ok it is his choice.

    Well, my dare for today was to listen without defending myself and talking about the way I see things. I sent him an email on Friday that said simply You said I don't listen, I want to listen. No response, big surprise. I called him on Sunday and left a message to call me back. He called today. We are meeting Wednesday. Why do I always get so scared when we are supposed to talk? It is not like I am going to loose him because he has already left me and everything. I could use prayer to prepare me for our talk or I should say my listening session.I ask for prayer for the right questions to ask. I ask that my husband's heart would be softened and that he would see God's truth for what it is and choose to follow it.

    It is hard to take all the blame time after time after time. I realize what is my fault and the rest I let God deal with and let it go.

     

     

  • When you pray about these things, pray for wisdom, Strength and comfort.

    Quit trying so hard. Do your dares to the best you can. If you get a no response or a negative response you have completed your dare. And it was successful. His response has nothing to do with it being a success. Your trust in Christ to do it no matter what you think is what the point of the dares are.

    As for him blaming you when you talk. Do not let it escalate. Do not argue. You having no resistance to his talk is where conviction will come. Be humble, be kind be loving. Christ will do the rest.

  • Where is the line between trusting God and knowing that he gave us free will? He gave my husband the free will to decide to walk away from the marriage. My mindset is that our marriage is over because he has made up his mind, but it isn't done done yet because he has not filed for divorce. I am going to keep doing the dares, it just gets harder. I find it interesting that my love for my husband has only increased through all this. Is that normal? He has hurt me so much, but I don't have that much anger; just mostly pain.

  • I am confused by the question. There is no line between trusting God and free will. Either we trust in His plan and choose to live it or not. You have been choosing to do so, and your husband is not.

    That mindset is of the flesh. PERIOD. All things are possible with Christ.

    And what you find interesting about your love. Well that is because your free will has chose to trust God. It is only because of God that you can love someone in that way. If you were still of the flesh fully as you were before this journey, you would be full of hatred and anger. This is what the journey is about. Allowing Christ to mold you in His image. Yes the dares get harder and the journey gets harder, because we are starting to live as Christ is molding us.

    And the pain you continue to have is what is left with your flesh. Soon, you will not even have that. When you are able to focus completely on Christ and trust Him with everything in your life, it is then you will be comforted completely. Christ will fill every void you have.

    He is preparing you to be the testimony your husband needs. Just wait and see....

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